High On Poker

On Saturday morning, after a long week, wifey Kim and I made our way uptown to the Port Authority Bus Terminal with the hope of getting to the Academy Bus to AC as early as possible. I had received a promotion from Tropicana Hotel & Casino in Atlantic City that blew my mind. Two free rooms, per week, any day of the week, through April 8. I also noticed that Alice in Wonderland in 3D IMAX was playing at the Tropicana as of this last weekend, so well in advance, I booked the room, purchased the IMAX tickets (for an inflated price that was just short of $50) and arranged wifey Kim and my safe passage aboard the Academy.

This was to be, on paper, a different type of AC trip. The last time wifey Kim went alone was to see the debacle that was Dancing with the Stars LIVE! in February 2007. Otherwise, it’d be a guys’ trip or our annual Xmas in AC trip, where we’d be accompanied by our friends and family.

The ride to AC was mostly smooth, albeit after we had to change buses in Hoboken for some obscure reason. On both legs (NYC to Hoboken and Hoboken to AC) wifey Kim entered the bus when all the rows had at least one person in them, but a guy graciously offered to move (a different guy on each leg) to allow me to sit next to my wifey Kim. The rides otherwise were quick and we arrived in AC from the 10:30 am bus at about 1pm.

The Academy Bus cost $35/pp roundtrip, or $70 total. On weekends, the bus leaves every 30 mins or so, with the stops changing every bus. So, if you catch a certain bus, it may stop at Bally’s and Showboat. The next bus will probably stop somewhere else in AC, like Caesars and Resorts. I think I just named all Harrah’s properties, but I’m pretty sure it stops elsewhere too, including the Trop (although not at our desired times).

The first time I took the bus, I got a voucher for $20 on the $33 ticket. I don’t recall where we stopped, but the voucher did not require playthrough, so you could just cash it out for $20 immediately.

The last time we took the bus, it stopped at Bally’s, where we were given $20 vouchers (I think) that required playthrough. I grumbled at the prospect, especially since we arrived late at night and was staying elsewhere. This was a Very AC X-Mas, so my family were awaiting our arrival before X-Mas Eve dinner. We never ended up using the playthroughs and just ate the loss.

It must depend on the dropoff casino, because this time, wifey Kim and I got a $25 voucher that could be cashed in with a Trump One Card (their new promo card) without playthrough. It was the best deal yet. The tickets cost $35 each and with the $25 voucher, it was more like $10 each. And, once again, I checked the ACES express train from NYC to AC (funded by Borgata and Harrahs, I believe), only to see that the roundtrip cost for two people, even with the casino subsidization, was near $150 total. Plus, the timing was no good for us, and the rides were estimated to take 3 hours. That’s a lot longer than the $10 bus ride that drops you on the Boardwalk (as opposed to the train station).

At Trump Plaza, we jumped through some hoops to get our $25 (had to get players cards, and wait in line at ticket redemption). With cash in hand and two heavy backpacks, I loaded up the bags and headed with wifey Kim down the Boardwalk to the Trop. The weather was beautiful and we stopped just short of the Trop for a little snack, a slice of pizza for me and a hotdog for the wifey.

Finally at the hotel, we checked in and headed up to our room. It was already fairly late, probably around 3pm, and the movie was to start at 4:45. We headed down to the IMAX theatre and waited behind a very small line. A large sign stated, “ALL SHOWS SOLD OUT FOR TODAY”, but the six people ahead of us still thought they could beg their way in. “We already had to set up folding chairs, sir, and there is no more room.” Thank god I got my tickets in advance.

After they failed to obtain tickets, I simply walked up and gave my name, securing the tickets. The thought of scalping them came to mind, but there are better ways to make money in AC.

We then headed to one of our favorite restaurants in the Trop (or all of AC), Cuba Libre. We stumbled in there a couple of trips ago, and now its like our go-to for a nice but not pretentious meal. We asked for reservations, but they were booked solid, unless we wanted to eat 15 minutes into our movie. At that point, we decided to wing it.

Wifey Kim and I went upstairs and hung for a bit. The movie cashier said to arrive 1 hour early to ensure we got good seats. We waited until 45 minutes early and were probably 25th in line, which was good enough. We spent our time waiting by playing around on our respective phones.

The theatre itself is awesome. It’s pretty large, with stadium seating and a screen that actually dwarfs the room. It is so looming and when you look up, its practically the only thing you can see.

The movie was fantastic. Wifey Kim thought that the 3D was unnecessary, since it was not overly utilized, but for my money, I want 3D to be so natural that you don’t notice it in the context of the story. Yes, you want the 3D to be noticeable, but I don’t want 3D gimmicks to overshadow the story or action.

Tim Burton is a visionary, and if you like his vision, you will enjoy this movie. Some might disagree about how the script goes, but if you are willing to accept the world of Wonderland, then its a great movie. The special effects are great, the tone and mood of the movie completely envelopes the audience, the casting is spot on, and the new story fits surprisingly well with the Alice in Wonderland canon that preceded it. I suppose that is all that needs to be said on that subject.

The movie ended and wifey Kim and I walked around the upstairs section of Trop’s Havana Quarter, where the IMAX, restaurants and shopping is mostly located. We found some new places that Wifey Kim did not even know existed; me, on the other hand, knew the place inside out. We found the top floor of Cuba Libre and saw some empty tables. Reservations be damned! We headed downstairs and tried again.

“Table for two please?”

“Certainly, sir. We can seat you upstairs.”

On the walk, we saw that the bar section had empty tables, and being the informal people we are, we pulled an audible and grabbed a bar table. First come first serve!

For dinner, we shared two 1/2 pitchers of Sangria (we thought one would be enough, but we were wrong), ropa vieja (essentially short ribs in a stock with vegetables) and arroz con pollo, along with arepitas, little cakes of corn, cheese and other stuff fried up. Everything was delicious, including the Sangria, which had wifey Kim and I well loopy by the end of the meal.

We walked around for a bit more before heading back upstairs. Neither of us felt like gambling since we had a full day already. I hopped in the shower to remove the bus scum from me. Refreshed, I toweled off when wifey Kim offered, “You know, if I fall asleep, you can play poker.” I stared at her with a blank expression. “What?” she asked. “Well,” I offered, “I fully intended not to play poker this trip, but now that you mentioned it, I’ve got the fever. I still might not go play though.” (And if you know me, you have already called bullshit on that last line.)

Wifey Kim actually did fall asleep relatively early, and after waiting a reasonable amount of time until I heard the tell tale sound of deep sleep, I threw on some clothes and made for the poker room.

At this time of night, I was still fairly sloshed and tired from the long work week and our early start time for Saturday. I had considered donning my usual poker outfit, which for this trip included my red Flash t-shirt (a gift from wifey Kim), cargo pants, etc. I reconsidered, though, and switched back to my generic, solid maroon t-shirt and headed downstairs.

I had really thought about image. I was tired, so I did not expect to play many hands and I wanted to play more cautiously than usual, since I was not sure my wits were about me. My poker usual look is of a schlub; its comfortable and I want people to expect little of me. This time, I decided to play the Poker Grump way and be the quiet guy.

I arrived at the poker room and things were pretty hopping. I put myself on the 3-person list for 1/2 NL and on the 6-person interest list for 1/2 PLO8. I couldn’t believe that they’d even consider spreading the game. As it turned out, that game never started (or if it did, I wasn’t called for it).

After a 10 minute wait, I had my chips from the cashier and a table to play. I opted for $200 to start. I didn’t want the full buy-in ($300) because of how I was feeling, but I refuse to buy in for cheap ($100, for instance) unless I plan on experimenting. This was not an experimenting night, so $200 it was.

I took the four seat and liked what I saw. The 1s was a pretty cute chick. I’d say she was a solid 8 or 9, but when she eventually left the table she dropped to a 6.5. Nice face, but the body didn’t hold up.

Oh, and she played poker too, I think.

To her left and my right were two guys in their 20s. They were chatting with each other and the girl, giving away way too much info, while the chick remained pretty guarded. It was clear that the lethario in the 2s was trying way too hard, which in this case meant making inane conversation that mostly centered around his poker play and thought processes. He must’ve been losing, because he was going on about how unlucky he was at the table, pointing out a couple of lucksacks who were playing loose. From this dude alone, I got reads on several players, not that I would accept his reads without confirmation. When he lost a hand, he’d justify it to the girl as though she gave a shit, and then play the loser by stating, I can’t win.

What a pussy! If you really want to get a girl’s attention in this scenario, you have two options, neither of which are likely to work anyway. The first is that you act like money means nothing to you, ergo the chick will think you have money. For this sap, that’d be the best route. Why? Because the second route is to actually be a fucking human being and have a normal conversation with the girl. Picking up a chick at a poker game is like picking up a chick anywhere else. It was clear this guy had no game.

Now, I’m a married man, so I’m retired from such things, but playing the role of the quiet guy and enjoying the view, I noticed the chick looking at me a couple of times. I think everyone else around us were fawning over her, so my cold demeanor, like she was hardly there, seemed to catch her attention. We ended up chatting a bit when she asked me about my Buddha card cap, just another lesson for the turd on her left that they’ll come to you if you act like you don’t care. Now, she wasn’t blowing me under the table, but the point is that to get attention from a female when they are already getting attention thrown at them from everyone else, your best bet is to act disinterested.

The More You Know!

To my immediate left was an older guy who looked like strung out. He had long gray hair reaching to his chin and a touch beyond, on a skinny frame, wearing some type of track suit. He was sleeping a lot between hands and had his small stack arranged in $20 stacks of $5 chips.

To his left was an Asian guy in his 20s or 30s wearing a hoodie and sunglasses. He was probably my main competition in the game. Beyond him were a lot of fillers. There was one older Asian guy who was playing loose but rarely tangled with me and in the 10s there was a tall, thin white guy in a red tracksuit and dreadlocks. I’ve always said that if I were a black man, I’d wear dreadlocks, but for most white dudes, its just a joke. This dude was a joke.

Speaking of the dude with White Dreads, my first significant hand was a loss to Dready. I held KT and was in one of the blinds. Dready bet a few bucks preflop, maybe $6 or 7 and there were a few calls before it got to me, so I called as well.

The flop was King-high, giving me top pair, mediocre kicker. The flop checked around. On the turn, I checked and Dready bet out, but since he looked like a tool and seemingly acted like a tool, I didn’t give him much credit. He and I saw the river where I was tempted to make a bet, but instead check-called a small sum, losing to his KQ. It was a disappointing hand, but all I could think at the time was that I was glad I did not push the action. Overall, I only lost $20-30 on the hand.

A little while later, I decided to call in late position with K6s because there were a lot of limpers. The flop came down 863 with two clubs, fiving me a weak middle pair. It checked around to me and I checked as well. The Asian hotshot in glasses and a hoodie bet out $7 and there were a slew of weak calls, including me. The turn was another 8 and it checked to me again, but this time, I bet $20. I was fairly certain no one loved this board and I wanted to act like I hit the 8. I guess it worked well enough, because everyone folded and I was up a couple of bucks.

The last major hand was between me, Dready and the Hooded Asian. I held TT in MP. Dready was in EP and raised to $6. Before I could act, the pathetic dude who tried to chat up the chick raised to $20. With TT, I opted to call before I got too deep into the hand with lots of competition. The Hooded Asian called and we saw a flop, KT8 with two diamonds. I flopped middle set. Dready led out with a bet of $22 and when it got to me I raised to $80. Surprisingly, the Hooded Asian called and Dready did too. Both were hesitant. The pathetic kid had already folded. The turn was a Jack of spades, creating a spade flush draw and a straight if anyone had a Queen. I only had about $95 left in front of me, so when it checked to me, I took my time and pushed it all in. I wasn’t going to fold since these guys could easily be playing the flush draw. Hooded Asian called and Dready took his time before folding. The river was dealt, a 3 of spades, completely the backdoor spade flush. I tabled my set and the Hooded Asian mucked. He claims to have held the nut flush draw and a pair; Dready also claimed to be on a flush draw. Sweet! This hand helped me bring my profit to around $300 (profit only). I still had some time to play.

By the time it was almost midnight, I was down to $214, having leaked chips with AK, AQ and their ilk, all of which refused to hit a flop. I had my fun, though, so I packed up and left with my $214 profit. I had already picked midnight as my cutoff earlier in the evening, but it was a soft plan. I followed it, mostly because the chick was gone, the two guys on my right who were chatting too much were gone, and a couple of other soft spots had left the table. Wifey Kim was upstairs sleeping comfortably, so I was happy to join her.

I cashed out up my $214 after a little under 2 hours of play and made my way up to the room. On the way down the hallway, I heard the voice of two sorority-like girls yelling at each other in a room. “COME ON! YOU ARE TAKING SO LONG!” “WHAT! YOU NEVER TAKE THIS LONG! WE ARE ALWAYS WAITING FOR YOU!” I slowed my pace hoping to see the sloppy messes (as we so affectionately called such chicks in college), but that bitch really was taking a long time.

Wifey Kim barely moved when I opened the door and a flood of light entered our room. I got out of my poker clothes and in to bed.

The next morning, wifey Kim and I both awoke around 9am. We decided to move slowly, since we had nothing but time. Checkout was 11am, so we loaded up our bags and made our way to the breakfast buffet. Along with the two free rooms, every week, including weekends, through April 8, each room I booked came with a complimentary food comp of $40, which could only be used at Trop-owned eateries (i.e., Cuba Libre and a slew of other places were out). We hadn’t eaten at an AC buffet in probably 5 years, but we finally had an excuse. It was free ($40.55 before the comp, and under $40 with the comp because of no tax) and it was fast. Plus, with an omelette station, it was probably as good as any other Trop breakfast. In actuality, it was merely ok, but it was fast, and we got some mini-bananas to go for our ride back to NYC.

For dessert, we hit up the Wheel of Fortune slots where we sunk $100 down the drain. I usually don’t play slots, but with Kim, all bets are off (or on?) and besides, we had to play something ratable to let the Trop know that I was not just taking their room and squandering it.

Next we took a stroll in the unseasonably warm air, down the Boardwalk to Caesars. Once in Caesars, we made our way to the Concierge where we checked our bags, and then exited out the back of the building.

I’ve written here before about how AC needs to develop things other than gambling to attract a wider customer base. The outdoor outlet mall is a great example.

With the beautiful weather, wifey Kim and I were able to walk around without jackets, as we wandered from store to store picking up way more stuff than either of us intended. Several hundred dollars and heavy bags later, we had our fill, so we grabbed a quick bite at a Subway and headed back to Caesars, which incidentally is across the street from the center of the outdoor outlet area. It was also where Academy’s 1:30, 2:30 and 3:30 buses picked up NY passengers.

With tons of bags, we made our way to the bus depot in Caesars where we eventually got onto the bus and were able to obtain seats next to each other. Once again, the bus took a detour, this time because of massive traffic ahead, but even so, we were back at the Port Authority within 2 hours and 45 minutes. A short while later, we were home.

From this trip, I got to see AC from a non-gambler’s perspective, and I liked what I saw. There is a lot going on in AC, and you can choose to do it all or nothing and still have a great time. Sure, you won’t be rock climbing, or snorkeling, but you can get a tan during the right months and you can load up on cheap clothing year round. And there is always the movies.

And finally, an announcement. The Showboat has long been a favorite of mine because of the nice rooms, great tournaments for lower limit players, and location on the edge of the Boardwalk. But it is no longer the unofficial official AC Casino/Hotel of High On Poker. I have returned to the hotel of my childhood because of its generous room policies, variety of foods and entertainment venues, and always hopping poker room. Congratulations, Tropicana. You are the new unofficial official AC Casino/Hotel of High On Poker!

Until next time, make mine poker!