web analytics

High On Poker

I’m really fascinated with social networking sites. I had written in the past about how I didn’t understand the real point to these social networking sites. It seemed to me that it was all a self-perpetuating circle jerk of people signing up at a myriad of sites, emailing their friends to join, followed by a linking frenzy and more emails out to more friends, all for the purpose of…well, what? Getting a job? I didn’t need one. Meeting new people? I’m married and I don’t like people anyway.

The one exception to the rule has been Facebook. I got into Facebook for the games. Scrabulous (which was rightfully shut down, since it was a direct ripoff of Hasbro’s intellectual property rights from Scrabble) was the gateway drug. Now, it’s other random stupid applications, but it passes the time and feeds my dual needs for games and competition. Still, there are some things I will never understand.

Facebook has an option where you can post what you are doing at any given moment. This is displayed to all of your “friends.” I put “friends” in quotes because, let’s be honest, if you have more than 20 “friends” on Facebook, you probably haven’t seen 80% of them in years. In fact, wifey Kim and I have lately been competing to get the most friends. To be more accurate, she gloated about having more friends, so I accepted the old friend requests from people I haven’t seen in years or just plain don’t like. So much for my exclusive ring of friends.

But this whole announcing-to-the-world-what-you-are-doing bit just baffles me. I see the irony and all, since I write almost daily (and twice today!) about nonsensical nonsense that is a hair away from the nonsensical nonsense making up the here’s-what-I’m-doing Facebook application. But at least my goal is to entertain in brief spurts, and I use this site as much to work out my own thoughts as I do to present them. But this whole Facebook thing, and Twitter for that matter, is a whole new level of lazy narcissism dressed in useless information.

Let’s poke some fun at fellow bloggers for a moment, all of whom are my friends (for realz, yo, unlike the recent batch of number-padding “friends” I added at Facebook) for a little inspiration.

Someone is happy that he is getting his tile installed today! Fantastic! I’m wet with anticipation! I’m so glad that I know about your tile situation. Now I don’t have to write you that long correspondence asking for more home-improvement updates!

Someone else
has been chilling in NYC for the last couple of days. So, now I know he is in town and that he didn’t think to call me to hang out! Lovely! Of course, I really take no offense, but damnit, if I were a more sensitive guy (or liked people in general) a statement like this could rub me the wrong way.

Another person is waiting for someone to clean up the pigeon mess. Lord knows what that means. I can only assume that some pigeons shat on her or her belongings. Either that, or there was a pigeon massacre and pigeon blood and guts have made a nasty stain. Either way, I don’t take kindly to bad mouthing pigeons, if you don’t already know.

And frankly, these all are very tame (and I repeat again that I really like all three of these people, so I mean thee no harm). I’ve read all sorts of status messages, including people contemplating their dating troubles, ecstatic about career situations, and just generally sharing whether they are happy or sad.

I suppose on some level, I understand the need to self-express, particularly when you know it is going out to a select group of “friends.” However, I wonder why we all need to share to immediately and so publicly all the time, myself somewhat included. Twitter is another fine example. I don’t mind reading about your evening the next day on your blog, but I don’t need a Twitter message saying, “I just got a pretzel and now I’m going to eat it.” And I really don’t need, “I just finished the pretzel and it was delicious!” I would accept, “I’m choking on a pretzel…call the police!” but anything else is useless information. What am I going to do with the knowledge that you are enjoying a salty carb-based snack at this very moment! WHAT? Just tell me what and I will do it. Otherwise, fuck you and your Twitter.

All of this naturally leads to my own status on Facebook. I still think it is a silly feature, but I may as well use it for some comedy. I’ve been changing it every few days (and twice today) with sarcastic nonsense. The first was:

Jordan…wants you to mind your own business.

Then came,

Jordan…wonders why you care so much about what he is doing.

Today, I added the peculiar and vulgar:

Jordan…is taking a shit. Not right now, and not even today, necessarily, but eventually.

Then I remembered that wifey Kim’s mom “friended” me recently (hey, I needed the numbers for my competition). That’s why I had to change it from the shit comment. It now reads:

Jordan…asks that we never speak of this again.

Hell, I guess I don’t have to understand the need for the application to pervert it to my own needs. Now, I just need to come up with more evasive, obnoxious status messages. It’s my new Facebook game!

Until next time, make mine poker!

The New Black

August 7th, 2008

I don’t have much for you. The grind is wearing me down. But I was thumbing through a set of pictures online, after following a link from the AOL homepage about some silly celebrity news. I really didn’t even look at the heading of the slide show, content on mindlessly clicking the NEXT button. Still, I soon realized that the pictures were all of black celebrities who have been on Reality TV shows. That’s when I saw the name of the site, Black Voices.

All of this is fine and dandy, but I have to point out the peculiar site that is photo #10. After 9 photos of black celebrities, and another 41 photos to follow after #10, #10 was the very popular African American star:


I can only assume that he was included because he is half-black…from the waste down. BOOM!

You can see the photo gallery, including pic #10, HERE.

Until next time, make mine poker!

9 Days and 12 Hours

August 4th, 2008

It was July 26, 2008 at approximately 11:04am when my 99 faced QQ all-in during the Foxwoods $120, 9am tournament. I had put my entire life on the line utterly dominated preflop, only to hit my 9 on the turn and propel myself until 10th place, the lowest money spot.

It was August 4, 2008 at approximately 10:28pm when I re-raise pushed all-in against LJ during the LivePokerRadio Tour. She called and her 99 faced my QQ. I had finally reached the dominating position. She hit her four-card straight on the turn.

Like that, I was out of the tournament. Yet, all I could think was, That didn’t take long.

Variance is apparently on a 9 day, 12 hour backlog. You have been warned.

Until next time, make mine poker!

Double Booked

August 4th, 2008

I was really looking forward to two events this weekend in my poker world. The Wall Street Game will be hosting another night of mixed games, this time $3/6 limit, Stud Eight or Better and Omaha Eight or Better. I love mixed games, and have been playing them rather often on Full Tilt lately, to some mediocre success and a whole lotta enjoyment.

The second event is more exciting. I remind you all once again that Dr. Pauly is celebrating his blog’s 5th birthday with a $5 tournament at PokerStars, with the first place winner receiving a seat in a $5k event at the Borgata. Full details are available HERE, but I want you all to realize that you cannot take the $5k and skip the event. It is a must-play prize. Also, no chops are allowed for the seat. Pauly, thankfully, has avoided all of the future complaints by setting up clear rules in advance. Kudos to Pauly on offering this awesome opportunity and organizing it well, to boot.

With all this great poker to be had, I realized this morning that there was only one hitch: they are both scheduled for Tuesday. And since I cannot turn down live mixed games 5 minutes from my apartment or a tourney in which I can win 1000x my buy-in against a reasonable field, it looks like I will be multitabling live and online poker. God help me.

I don’t have much to say about poker right now, but I sometimes like to use this little space as my own personal babble board, so here goes with a review of a movie that I just saw at random.

In film, as in life, the best thing one can do for his/herself is to go in with the right expectations (or none at all). You can’t watch a classic horror flick and complain that it lacked a love story, much in the same way as you cannot call up your straight-laced friend for help to hide the hooker’s body and not expect him to do something ridiculous like call the cops. So, when I heard reviews of Shoot ‘Em Up, an over-the-top action flick starring Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti, I was surprised by how many of the reviews seemed shocked at the hole-heavy plot and crazy action. The truth is, if you go into the flick with its intentions in mind, it is actually a masterful film.

The first key is to figure out the intentions behind the film. The title alone hints at the fact that Shoot ‘Em Up is a hyper-action film. It is in many ways a send-up of action films. At times, Clive Owen as the hero, Mr. Smith, even states plainly that he hates when the hero does x or y, all the while actually pointing out the foolishness inherent in most action flicks. This, alone, does not a good film make, but when you add the insane non-stop action, solid pacing, and creativity, the results are actually quite enjoyable.

A quick synopsis of the story: Mr. Smith is sitting at a bus station when a pregnant girl limps by panting and holding her stomach. A guy follows her with a gun, ready to kill. Mr. Smith decides, reluctantly, to follow the pair, only to step in right before the gunman shoots the preggo chick. During the ensuing scene, in which the gunman’s pals, including leader Giamatti, chase after Mr. Smith and old Prego, Prego gives birth. The rest of the movie is Mr. Smith’s efforts to protect the newborn infant with the help of his hooker “friend” while Giamatti uses his absurd logic and observation skills to find Mr. Smith wherever he goes.

This is not a love story, so don’t expect Mr. Smith and his hooker pal to have a plausible relationship. This is not even a serious film, so don’t expect Mr. Smith to be anything but bulletproof when faced by an army of villains chasing him across the city. But it IS supposed to be an action flick, and aside from Mr. Smith’s odd fascination with sliding on random surfaces while shooting people (rollers on a conveyor belt, spilt oil, etc., etc. and so forth) the action is consistently innovative or at the very least, exciting.

The action is without a doubt over-the-top, but the sheer fact that Mr. Smith always has a stash of carrots (which he uses to kill at least a few baddies) is a sign that the writer/director wanted to make the violence cartoon-like. After all, the carrot is a clear nod to Bugs Bunny, and Giamatti is playing the role of Elmer Fudd.

If you are a dude who likes action, check out Shoot ‘Em Up. I don’t want to give too much away here, but it’s a great action flick that balances the absurdity of action flicks with some awesome ultraviolence. It pulls no punches, and for that reason, it deserves a big thumbs up.

Until next time, make mine poker!

Wall Street Reads

August 1st, 2008

High-dee ho, neighbors. After writing what felt like a novella on a simple overnight to Foxwoods, my poor blogging fingers are almost as worn out as my blogging brain. This week has been nothing but non-stop work, followed by fits of relaxation in the evenings. No complaints from the J-man, though, as I realize I am lucky to be where I am, who I am, doing what I do.

And in that vein, I had the extreme pleasure of returning to the Wall Street Game on Wednesday to play some .50/1 NLHE, with a max buy-in of $125. Last week, I received an evite from host Jamie about two tournaments held on Monday. Jamie’s amazingly well-run tournament is actually a series of events with a small percentage of each buy-in going to a prize pool that is awarded half to the season’s top ranked player who played 1/3 of the events and half to the winner of a freeroll played between the 2nd through 10th top ranked players for the season. It’s all quite impressive in scope, but when you haven’t played a single tournament in a season, giving up that 10% buy-in per game and the lower stakes in general make it less than perfect for a guy like me. This is in no way a knock on Jamie or the structure. It’s merely a statement as to the fact that the tournament is no longer the big appeal for me at the WSG.

Jamie is nothing if not a generous host, so when I RSVP’ed No to the tournament game with the statement, “I can’t lose my money fast enough in a tournament,” he was kind enough to set up the .50/1 NLHE game on Wednesday. Jamie has probably 80+ people on his evite list, so by the time I saw the evite a few hours later, he had already maxed out on players. Lemon! Fortunately, a few days later, a player dropped out and Jamie looked out for yours truly, adding me to the list.

I strolled into the game a little after 7pm. The place was already pretty full, and players were buying in for their starting stacks. I opted for $100, and found a seat to the right of Bacini Mary and the left of Paul in the Hamily. To Paul’s right was Brian, one of the more aggressive players in the game. He and I would tangle more than a few times in the game.

The game started out pretty hot, with players willing to raise decent amounts from the getgo. I’ve played at the WSG too many times to count, but Wednesday night was a particularly interesting evening, mostly because of the fast and furious action. I suppose the other particularly interesting aspect was my reads, which were, for the most part, dead-on.

We’ll start with a hand where I got a little frisky, limping with a marginal (if not dangerously weak) KT. There were a lot of limpers and the button raised to $3. By the time it got to me, no one had folded, so I called as well.

The flop came down T93, with two diamonds. I had top pair, second kicker. When it checked to me, I bet out $8. I was immediately raised by Liezl, a female player sitting a few seats to my left. From my experiences, Liezl is a tricky player to play against. I’ve seen her overcommit to overpairs or even just pocket pairs, but I’ve also seen her crush the souls of mere mortals when they have underestimated her holdings. There’s a certain level of unpredictability, so when she raised to $16 and everyone else folded, I didn’t know what the right move was. She might’ve had AT, which would have me crushed, or even 33, for a flopped set. Hell, she could’ve had T9 for two-pair, for all I knew. After all, there were so many players in the hand preflop, she could’ve played any two for the simple limp and the pot-odds $3 call.

I flat called, hoping to control pot size and get more info on the turn. The turn was an 8 of spades, creating a spade flush draw to go along with the diamond flush draw. I checked, and Liezl bet out $15. See what I mean about being unpredictable? She actually bet less on the turn than on the flop. I still didn’t have a full grasp of what she was doing, but I decided to call again.

The river was a baby spade, filling the possible spade flush draw. I checked and Liezl bet out $50. I tried to talk it up a bit. “$50?! I thought this was a friendly game?!” I tried to read her for a tell; she seemed to be pretty quiet, which led me to believe that she was not entirely confident. I literally turned away from the table as I worked out the action in my head. Preflop calling, raising the flop, small bet on the turn, big bet on the river. $50 may not have been big in relationship to the pot, but it was a big bet in terms of psychology. It felt like the type of bet that is designed to push the opponent out of the hand. All of this pointed to a call, but I still internally argued whether I was reading this particular player right. It may be that 9 out of 10 people raising $50 here are trying to push out their opponent, but if Liezl IS a calling station, as some might argue, wouldn’t she be that 1 out of 10 people who bet like this without thinking that it’d push out her opponent. I don’t want to go so far as to say it’s a “value bet.” But perhaps she really thought she was best and bet according the perceived-strength of her hand.

Finally, I had to go with my initial reaction. Something about the weak $15 followed by the strong $50 seemed odd, like it was a blocker or probe bet followed by the old, “I can only win this pot by betting big.” I kept my head turned away from the table and shielded my face with my hand as I pushed $50 into the pot with my other hand, like a little kid watching a horror movie between slotted fingers. “I have a 9,” I heard her announce. I saw her A9 and tabled my KTo. And that was how I started building my stack.

The action was loose and the crowd was friendly, so I found myself really hamming it up when I was dealt AQo in the SB or BB. A player in EP raised preflop, so I complained that the person was raising because he was taking advantage of the fact that he knew I had crappy cards in the blinds. It was all shtick, keeping things light and, frankly, a tad absurd. There were a few callers and when it got to me, I considered raising, but opted for an out-of-position call. I figured if I missed the flop, I would cap my losses and let the hand go, but if I hit it, my lack of preflop action would be deceptive.

The flop was Ace-high with two spades. I checked, and leaned over to Mary, who was already out of the hand. I used my most absurd stage whisper to announce, “I didn’t hit the flop.” In hindsight, I realize that it is considered poor ettiquete to discuss your hand while play is in progress. In that regard, I guess I sorta regret my behavior. However, it’s a friendly game and it was pretty clear that I was just tooling around, so I hope no significant harm was done.

It folded to a player I had never played with before. He was an Asian gent and seemed to have a solid grasp on the game. In LP, the Asian Gent, or Agent, for short, bet out $10. When it folded to me, I opted for a flat call, hoping to get more in with a check-raise on the turn. The turn was a Queen of spades, giving me top two pair but completing the flush draw. I checked again and Agent bet $15. I considered raising, but feared that the flush card would either kill my action. In the alternative, it might be called and if a spade river hits, I’m screwed. I just called.

The river was an offsuit Ten, which, assuming I was ahead on the turn, would only help TT and KJ. I considered check-raising again, but realized that I could not give up the chance to bet. I bet out $35 nonchalantly and my opponent reluctantly called. I showed my top two pair, AQ, and he showed A8 and then mucked. Ka ching!

AQ popped up again in one of the oddest hands I have ever experienced. I held AQ and raised preflop, getting two callers. One of the callers was Brian, who was out of position against me. I was the big stack, but he was close behind. The flop came down with three low cards, something akin to 853, with a flush draw. It checked to me and I bet $15. Brian called. The turn was another 3, and created a second flush draw. Brian bet out $35 immediately. It smelled like bullshit, and I stared him down for a long while, trying to figure out what it all meant. He couldn’t have a 3. That just didn’t make sense. I doubt he even hit the board. Yet on the other hand, he couldn’t have an overpair because it wasn’t like Brian to just limp-call preflop or call from the blinds preflop with 99 or higher. I considered all of this and determined that he was bullshitting me. I raised to $85. He took his time in response and then announced all-in. I had to fold. The pressure point was just too high and I couldn’t risk most of my stack with AQ. After I folded, he showed K6o, for a complete bluff. And I commended him for it. I’m not above admitting that I was outplayed. I wouldn’t mind knowing a bit more about his reasoning there, but suffice it to say that it was an amazing play by him and he deserved to win the pot.

With the last hand still in my head, I was dealt K9c in EP/MP and decided to call a straddle of $2. When it got to host Jamie, who was in position, he bet out $14. It folded to Brian, who called. I called as well, mostly seeking revenge against Brian.

I should note that Jamie hadn’t been playing for most of the game, so this was probably his first hand that he played. The flop came down KQx, giving me top-pair, middle kicker. Brian checked and I checked as well. And out of nowhere, Jamie pushed all-in for $96.50. Brian folded and I had a tough decision. Top pair, middle kicker is no monster hand, and Jamie’s range included numerous cards that had me drawing dead. Once again, though, I thought about the story that had developed, and the all-in on the flop made little sense. It seemed designed to push out two loose players who already demonstrated that they missed the flop. I took my time and then figured I needed more information. I asked if I was allowed to show a card, and after I got the ok, I showed my King. I didn’t get anything off of Jamie right away, but then I saw the sign that sealed his fate. He was shuffling his cards, a tell that usually indicates that a person does not like their hand; they are subconsciously trying to change their cards. I called, flipped over the 9 to accompany the King and then waited as the dealer dealt out the turn and the river Queen. I feared he had a Queen, but he just mucked and I felted him. While I didn’t keep the hand history, a little while later, I played K9s and turned a flush against Jamie as well. I guess K9 just worked for me that night.

When I cashed out, I was up $420. I was easily the big winner of the night, and happy that my success is continuing. I’m still a far distance from where I want to be in my annual goal, but all I can do is continue to play my best and hope that the cards do the rest.

After the game, I returned home, where wifey Kim was sprawled across the bed sleeping. I kissed her head and told her that I won $420. I put my roll away and hit the couch.

Lately, sleep has been difficult, and I spent the next two hours trying to ease off of the adrenaline high I get from poker. The next morning, I spoke to wifey Kim and she asked how I did. “I won $420,” I told her. “Oh yeah,” she replied, “now I remember.” Wifey Kim is one impressive chick. She has already acclimated herself to listening to my poker stories in her sleep.

Until next time, make mine poker!

Make your game nights more authentic with a new poker table from PokerChips.com.



* * *

High On Winning

If you're training to be a poker champion there's only one way to get better and that's through constant practice. Online poker makes it possible to play anytime, anywhere.

* * *

FullTiltPoker is the #1 place to Play Poker Online. Visit our Full Tilt Poker Download page and receive an exclusive Full Tilt Poker Bonus Code. If you want to Play Blackjack Online, then visit our #2 room PokerStars.com today. Get the latest PokerStars Download.


* * *
Work on your poker skills at Casino Club or face the Full Tilt pros and use the Full Tilt Poker Referenzcode . For casino action, play some blackjack at the Mr Green Casino or take advantage of the PartyCasino Bonus Code at the slot machines.
* * *
Learn to become a poker online champion using our free poker rules and poker strategy guides, written by the online poker professionals themsleves!


Poker Sites


TitanPoker.com
Poker Savvy


Play Poker Online
Play Poker Online at Full Tilt Poker
100% Signup bonus up to $600 at the fastest growing Online Poker Room.
Web Design Bournemouth Created by High Impact.
Copyright © High On Poker. All rights reserved.