High On Poker

I have a trio of reviews for you, spanning from poker to the absurd. Let’s get right to it with a review of Mansion Poker, the site that brings you speed poker on Fox Sports Net (I think it’s on FSN, but with all of the terrible poker shows around, who can be sure).

Mansion Poker

What Mansion Poker lacks in traffic, it makes up for in its infuriating cashout process. Yes, there is little redeeming about this crappy site. If you are lucky, you can find one or two tables that are not NL ring games. IF you are lucky. Most likely, your only choice will be what stakes of NL ring game you’ll be playing for the evening.

The SNGs are always available, if you have 45 minutes to wait for a 6 person SNG to fill up. If that doesn’t work, you can enter one of their scheduled tournaments. They run one every hour (or every four hours at certain times which I am sure coincide with Great Britain’s overnight hours), but the field may look suspiciously like an SNG, and you may have a much longer wait if you actually care what stakes you play.

Depositing is easy. Withdrawing, not so much. Mansion is one of the few sites that require picture ID before you can withdraw funds. Assholes. If they need a picture ID, why not get it when I’m depositing the funds! At least let me know that it is required. Instead, when I’m fed up with the site, I find out that I have to wait several weeks between my procrastination and the mail in order to get my money. Shame on you, Mansion! Shame indeed.

Oh, and Speed Poker at the Poker Dome can suck my balls. I know two of the blogger bretheren have made it onto the show, and congratulations to her. Of course, if given the opportunity, I would be right there as well. But the show is just plain silly. Part of the fun of poker is the fact that each decision matters, and there is so much information available. 15 seconds is not enough to watch the players think, act, read other players. It’s like playing football with only two downs. Mansion, get the fuck out of here!

Snakes on a Plane

It wasn’t all crap this weekend. I was happy to have finally convinced someone (anyone!) to see Snakes on a Plane! Bro in law Marc had enough of a sense of humor to join me yesterday afternoon. Here’s the best advice I can give: See it in a movie theatre as soon as possible! It’s the type of movie where you want to be in a crowded theatre (hence the urgency) because the rowdiness of the audience will just add to the show. It is the first time I was actually glad that some inconsiderate pricks would not shut up one row behind me. Their commentary was mostly crappy attempts to sound witty, but there was someone else to scream OH! when a snake found its intended target. On that note, these were the horniest snakes ever!

K-Fed on the Teen Choice Awards

Finally, K-Fed! I was very disappointed a mere week or two ago when I realized I missed the Miss Teen USA competition, so there was no chance in hell I was missing the Teen Choice Awards. A funny thing about those awards. At the end, before the credits, there is a big disclaimer. Wifey Kim insisted on pausing the DVR. Basically, it states that the finalists are chosen by ballot, and then Fox and some company called Teenosaurus Rox chooses the winner. Very pathetic. It’s also probably why the guests who attended were invariably the winners in their categories.

But that’s not what I wanted to discuss. Here it is: K-Fed didn’t suck! In fact, he was pretty good. He worked the stage, was smart enough to have dancers showcased (that weren’t him) so you didn’t focus too much on Mr. Spears, and his rap had a definite beat to it. He’s no Dr. Dre, and not even an Eminem, but he’s no Vanilla Ice either. So, I’m going to go out on a limb and say this: Good luck to you, Mr. Fed. May you continue to not suck into the foreseeable future.

Now, onto some pokery goodness. Fuck the 45 SNG Challenge. That’s a bit harsh, but I did end up placing 5th (top 4 spots pay). In the end, though, I had a great time. Thank you, Drewspop.

Poker is back on track. I had a couple of nice evenings, Friday and Saturday, but ended up down $1.75 on Sunday. I look forward to some of the Blogger events this week. I have some thoughts on HU play that I might get to later in the week (or day), but for now, have a great Monday. And in the meanwhile, make mine poker!

This is a hand that occurred a couple of weeks ago. I was perusing my “Drafts” on Blogger and came across it. When I type a hand history, I usually cut and paste the hand history into Blogger first and then come back the next day to turn it into something readable. I don’t knock anyone who posts a bare hand history, but for my tastes, something a bit more narrative is always preferrable. Since I don’t remember this hand and I sure as hell have not reviewed it yet, I’m going to be reading this thing as I go. Let’s see where we end up.

It’s an $11+1 tournament, in the 2nd level (15/30), so it’s probably a 45-person Turbo SNG. I’m sitting on 1455, so it looks like I’ve been folding for the first level. Butchy has 1380. I’m on the button with 6d8d. I can already tell that this is going to be fun!

Butchy in MP limps. Cinch in the CO calls. I call. The blinds call as well. Five to the flop.

The flop is As 6c 8s. Now, right away, we are dealing with the good and the bad. The good is that any strong Ace will think that he is in good position with TP good kicker. The bad is the flush draw out there. The great thing is that both suggest one thing: bet big. You can push out the draws and keep the Ace in the hand this way. It checks to me, and since I’m in position, any bet will appear like a steal. I bet 200 into a 150 pot. Butchy calls, but the rest fold.

The turn is a Qh. Overall, this is an awesome card. The only thing it helps is AQ, but most players would have raised preflop with AQ. It certainly doesn’t help the flush draw. It’s checked to me, and right here, I’d suggest a bet of 550 at least, which is the size of the pot. With only 1224 left though, I actually push all-in. It’s not a bad move. Checking is out of the question. Any pot-sized bet will commit me. I can get the maximum value by looking weak and tempting the Ace to call with top pair, while scaring away the draw. The pot is 550, so if I win it straight out, its still a nice profit for an early hand.

Now, here is when things get interesting. I guess I didn’t push all-in. Instead, I Hoy (all-in except for 1 chips, so you can chat). Then I start goading butchy. My exact quotes are, “bring it” and “come on butchy.” Sure enough, he calls…with Qs9s. The river is a Td, and he misses his flush. I take down 2850 with two pair.

Not much to say about this hand. The goading was a bit ballsy. Perhaps someone has a different opinion. I’m sure I’m going to hear someone say something about how stupid it is to play gap suited cards in the early stages of an MTT, but the position mattered a lot, along with the copious limpers and the potential to fold easily if I miss. Chew on it, give it a little taste, and then tell me what you think.

Oh, and I’m glad I won the hand. I generally put real F’ ups as my You Decide, so maybe this will convince some of you detractors that I’m not a complete donkey.

Summer in NYC can be a real bitch. When its 80 degrees outside, its 95 on the subway platforms. Being the clever guy that I am, I came up with a way around waiting for a subway in 95 degree heat while wearing my lawyer-wear. The answer came in the quick change. I go to work in sandals and shorts, usually wearing my dress shirt like I’m some reject from an Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue. By all appearances, I look like a shlub, maybe a messenger, student or mailroom worker. But I’m comfortable.

The thing is, I can be forgetful at times. I left my work shoes in the office last night, and packed work pants and a belt so that I can make the quick change once I hit the office. It isn’t that anyone would have a problem with my civies (i.e., civilian clothes). It’s just that I have to look the role for my clients, and it doesn’t help to look the role for my superiors either.

So, imagine my surprise when I look into my bag and realize that I forgot dress socks. This isn’t the first time this has happened. Last time, I had yesteday’s worn socks still in my bag, and pulled the ole’ inside-out used-socks manuever to hide my sockless shame. This time, however, I was out of luck…sorta. Fortunately, there is a Gap across the street, and off I went in search of cheap dress socks.

The socks at the Gap (in NY, anyway) cost $4. I grabbed one pair and made my way to the counter, when a thought occurred to me. I needed Emergency Socks for any future forgetfulness. Once I reached the sock rack, I couldn’t help but notice the “3 for $10″ stickers. Done and done. I made my way back to the counter with my three pairs of black socks, but to my dismay, a woman was already there, not 5 minutes after the store openned with enough clothing to keep her 12 member family warm for the winter and back again. As I waited, I noticed a polo shirt, bright aqua blue with yellow stripes. Damn, that’d look good on me. I grabbed it on impulse.

When I got to the register, the discontent employee rang me up: $40. That’s some fucking expensive socks.

I can afford it though, after last nights successful play. I started the evening with my 13th (out of 15) 45-person SNG, for the 45 SNG Challenge II. While I have created these Challenges, I rarely money. It works like this: several bloggers, in this case 20, put up a prize pool ($25/pp) and then play 15 45-person SNGs at their own pace over a month. This cycle of the 45SNGC has been ran by Drewspop, and he’s doing a great job. Sowbug was nice enough to set up a program so all we have to do is email him the tournament number. When we money, we forward the automatic email received from PokerStars. The results are then displayed at THIS WEBPAGE. If you’ve gone to that last link, you may’ve seen HighOnPoker listed in second place (ok, actually third once its update to include Drewspop’s recent 2nd place finish).

As I was saying, I played the 13th last night, a $6.50 turbo, and was doing well. I was facing the usual suckouts, including a very early round play when I got my opposition all-in with KT and a TQx board against my pocket Ks. I was ecstatic at first, but the Jack turn and Ace river made it a chop. Even so, I avoided tilt, played well, but went out in 22nd on some hand that I just can’t recall. While I was playing the turbo, though, I could feel that it was unlikely that I would money. I think at that point I was down to 500 or so in an early round (I did, eventually, come back before my demise). I decided to enter my 14th tournament, a $10+1 regular 45-person SNG.

I could go through details, but let’s get to the chase. I moneyed in 2nd in my 14th attempt. I was giddy, mostly because I was playing like gangbusters, whooping ass left and right. At the final table, I had 45k four-handed, with more chips than all of my competitors combined. I think the only questionable play I made was early, when I called an all-in with TT against a fairly even stack when he pushed after a raise. I read his overzealous bet as weaker than TT and I was right. He had AKo. My TT held up, and while it was a dangerous move for an SNG (and even moreso because of the 45 SNGC) there is some great validity to busting early or going home in these things. Heads-up didn’t last long. I was ahead 2:1 against my opponent, but he won two cointosses that would give him the win. Still, a $86 profit isn’t bad.

The Mookie was fun too. I actually busted in 8th or 7th, just out of the money to a hand that may or may not be classified as a bad beat. I’d like your opinions on that question. I held KK and raised from 800 to 2400. I was making that same raise left-and-right. This time, Xanthius, the huge chipleader, called in the SB, so I had position. The flop was QQ2. It was checked to me and I bet out 3600. He reraised me back. I pushed all-in. He called…with Q2. So, the money went in when he was ahead, but was it a bad beat, since I was dominating preflop? I’m guessing the answer is no, but I will say that it was a suckout on the flop. I suppose in the end, it was my fault. Laying down KK would not be easy, and I don’t think I’d do it more than 1 in 100 times in this situation, but it would have been the right move (results-wise). Eh, what can you do?

So, I had a profit last night, and I may money in the 45 SNGC. Thank fucking god.

Tonight I’ll be in New Jersey visiting wifey Kim’s friends and their new baby. Yes, they are the first of the crowd. Fortunately, wifey Kim and I are not having kids for another 15 years (and that number NEVER gets lower, even as years pass). Until then, we’ll just be watching my parents’ cat, Ernie, and thanking the lord (and Mama High) for Ernie’s newly trimmed claws. Ah! I guess waking up in the middle of the night to dancing paws on your face is better than waking up to that feeling of 1000 papercuts. Love those cats!

Do I have to post?

Yes, yes you do.

Why? Can’t I just skip a day? I don’t have anything good to say.

I don’t give a shit. You have a blog, you are a blogger, now fucking blog.

No need to get so snippy. But I don’t want to blog about my bad players and badder beats.

Do you have anything else to blog about?

Not really…

Then get to it!

Fine, but I’m not sending anyone any dollars.

I just want to hide my head. In an attempt to stave off the fear of poker following my big loss two nights ago, I switched to some 50 max PLO8 yesterday with SLB159. SLB was able to win $3 before he realized that we were actually in a No Limit Omaha 8 or better room. Duggle stopped by and stuck with his blog name by claiming that he would never play No Limit Omaha because he is a purist. Maybe my sensitivity level is a bit higher than usual, but when I hear someone say that they are a purist, I can’t help but catch a whiff of high-horsing. After all, if he is a purist, then what does that make me? That’s right, a dirty, tainted degenerate. Oh wait, my bad. He was right.

I figured NLO8 would actually be good. After all, I imagined the unexperienced would play there. I immediately figured out a tell/read that worked across the board. If a player bet huge, they had it. I then called a redonkulously high bet into a x333x board with KKxx in my hand, only to come across a slow-playing 3xxx. Yep, down $20, I got the fuck out.

I decided to call it a night until Veneno convinced me to stick around. The one light spot in my game lately has been at HU and I easily convinced V to get a 4-person HU SNG going at Tilt. SLB and Duggle joined. Unfortunately, my girlie yahoo chat wasn’t working and V gave the signal to enter the SNG when I had yet to get over the correct window. Consequently, the three other bloggers player a 4p without me. I decided to try one on my own.

The light is still there. My HU play is tight, and I dominated the action. I was up 1400-600 when I bet preflop with AdJs, knowing full well that my opponent was getting desperate. The flop was 6cJcQx, and I bet pot. He pushed all-in and I confidentally called. He held Jh7c, and I was way ahead…until the turn and river were clubs and he doubled-up off of me on a runner-runner flush. $1 down, $1 to go.

So be it! I started to fight my way back, now with a shorter stack and the pressure on. I was down to 300 at one point, but was up to 700 when I held TT. Cold, I raised all-in, knowing that my opponent was dumb as rocks. He called with AT, and hit his Ace on the flop.

I cursed the game of poker. I shut down my computer. And I sat there bewildered.

Bad beats happen. It’s just been tough. All day its been tough. I keep replaying the stupid NLO8 hand (it was the first thing I thought of when I went to bed and the first thing I thought of when I awoke). I’ve been snippy with wifey Kim, and I’m not keen about my parents dropping off the devil cat later today. They want to go to dinner (on their dime), and while I should be 100% for it, instead I just want to be left alone. Wifey Kim is going to watch Project Runway at her friend’s place, so its just me, Ernie (the cat), and poker, once my parents are gone.

I am really beginning to understand why this poker-centric life is not what its cracked up to be. I will overcome, though. The passion of poker rages through my veins. There are no two ways about that. So, do me a favor; say a little prayer for me. I’m pleading directly to the poker gods (and Jehovah, Jesus, Adonai, Buddha, the Dali Lama, Vishnu and Allah, just to be safe), “I’ve made my penance. Now, free me from these shackles of bad luck.”

So, um, that’s my post. And if you don’t like it, I’ll play you heads up for $1000!

Hmmm….where to start? Last night was my biggest losing night ever. (Breathe, Jordan, breathe!). What happened? I’ll tell you what.

My first $100 was lost due to a bit of overzealousness. I won’t fully recount the hand, but let’s put it this way: You will not successfully push someone off of their hand if they flop a full house. Instead, you will lose your entire stack. It wasn’t like I was stone-cold bluffing. I had an A9 on the AQQ flop, but clearly that wasn’t enough. I just couldn’t help myself though.

Let’s ignore the $10+1 SNG or the $20+2 MTT, both of which were failures. I had some momentum in the SNG before my life was cut short (was it a suckout? I can’t remember.). The real centerpiece to this story is the $130 I lost playing 3/6 Limit.

First, let me just acknowledge that $130 is not a big loss in 3/6. It’s just a tad over 20 BB, which can be expected. The terror came in the form of a player names Sasa. He is the Moby Dick to my Captain Ahab. Mansion Poker (via VegasPokerPro.com) was my Pequod.

Sasa’s Moby Dick designation is correct on at least two levels. First, Sasa was a fish of MONSTRUOUS proportions. I quickly realized that he called anything down, and waited for a check to bet and steal the pot. He made this “clever” play with such premium hands as JTo when he failed to hit the board. Seeing as how he was doing this in three out of four hands, I decided that I was going to loosen up against Sasa and do my best to isolate.

Unfortunately, my plan worked. I got Sasa heads up, and he repeatedly outdrew me. In one particular hand that left me gasping for air, I held K9d and raised preflop. Sasa called. The flop was AJ9, and I decided to bet. To my expectations, Sasa called. I have to admit, though, I feared that he had caught me with a Jack or Ace. I’d played with him enough though, so on the turn, I bet again. Sasa called. The river was a Ten, and I was staring at the face of several over-cards. Even so, Sasa could have been calling with anything. I was willing to call one bet, but I didn’t want to give him a chance to raise me, so I checked to him. Like clockwork, he bet out. I called. He showed KTo. The fucker three-outted me on the river. Worse, I had him read correctly the entire way.

Lest you think that this is merely a bad beat post, I really want to go a bit deeper than that. Bad beats happen, so I’m accepting of them. What I found most difficult is the balancing act between accepting that it is not your night and taking advantage of a good situation. What is a man to do? I could just walk away, but then when luck turns, the fishy Sasa would be served to other, more patient players. I could continue to push forward, but admittedly, I was feeling fatigued and I didn’t want to play anymore.

Unlike Ahab, I accepted my fate. Sasa had taken my leg, but I was not going to continue this fight, lest he destroy my ship and send me to the depths of the sea. I closed Mansion Poker and joined wifey Kim on the couch. Throughout the night, I looked longingly at the computer, but thought to myself that it was over. I would not win enough of my money back to make it worthwhile. Tomorrow is a new day.

Today, that “new day” I just mentioned, well, I woke up with the number stuck in my head. The number of my big loss. I went back to bed and when I awoke, the number was still there.

For the year, I am now up probably $700 if that. Mere months ago, that number was more like $2400. I’ve been patrolling the blogosphere, and I realize that I am not the only one on a downswing. In fact, just last year, I had the same thing happen. There was a period of probably two months where I lost my profits for the year. By year end, I was able to turn things around and reach my goal of $1200 in profit for the year.

Earlier this year, I adjusted my $1800 goal, but I’m reverting back. Perhaps this is just how things are. I want to rise above it, but I can’t rise above the realities of poker. You will lose. You will lose in streaks at times. The only thing I can do is to keep improving on my game. Yesterday is gone.

But you better believe that I will be searching for Sasa tonight. This isn’t over Moby, not by a longshot.

In a shocking sign that Poker is not as Mainstream as we all thought, Entertainment Weekly, in their August 18th issue had this to say about the upcoming poker-themed movie, “Lucky You”:

“For [Eric, the Incredible Hulk] Bana, who shot Lucky You before taking on the lead role in Steven Spielberg’s Munich, the struggle was not conjuring his characters emotions but rather sustaining his interest in the endless hours spent at the poker table. ‘[Director] Curtis [Hanson] was so intent on each detail being right, and it meant thousands of hours playing the same hand over and over, says the actor, sho spent months under the tuteladge of poker legends like Dale Brunson.” (bold added).

I mean, come on EW! It’s one thing if you spell Matusow wrong, but this is Doyle “Texas Dolly” Brunson. A simple internet search would’ve sufficed as fact-checking here.

I’ll let it slip this time, EW, but only because you’ve proved that poker is still not mainstream enough. Oh, and Bana, this movie better not suck as bad as the Hulk, or I’m holding you responsible, buddy.

This is the third installment of the leak, and I’m quickly learning why my bankroll takes random drops. This time we are focusing on the black-hole of money known as Chinese Poker. Chalk this up as another innovation of the Chinese, along with iron, noodles and firecrackers. Love them firecrackers!

Here is how Chinese Poker works:

Each player (maximum of four) is given thirteen cards. You then arrange the cards into three poker hands. The first (back hand) and second (middle) hand consist of five cards. The third hand (front hand) is three cards only. You cannot have a flush or straight in the three-card hand. The best you can have is three of a kind. The first hand must be your highest hand, followed by the second and third.

When all players are done setting their hands, they reveal and players get one unit for each hand they beat. So, if it is heads-up, and I have a fullhouse, three-of-a-kind, and Ace-high, and you have a flush, a straight, and a pair of twos, then you win one unit (I win one for the fullhouse, you win one for the straight, and you win a second one for the twos). If you are playing with more than two players, you compare each players hand to each other players hands. So, if player A beats two out of three of player B’s hands, and loses two out of three to player C’s hands, and player B gets whalloped on all three hands against C, A would win 2 units from B but pay 2 to C (0 units total), player C would win 3 units from B and 2 from A (+5 units), and player B would pay 2 to A and 3 to C (-5 units). Units are decided at buy-in ($1, for example).

There are two set of rules for Chinese Poker: East and West. In West, the player that wins a majority of the hands win an extra unit. In East, there are bonus units for particular hands. These include Straight Flushes (5 for the back, 10 for the middle), four-of-a-kind (4 for the back, 8 for the middle), Fullhouse in the middle (2), and three-of-a-kind in the front (3). If your opponent has the same bonus hand, but it is lower than yours, you win double.

In West or East, there are also “Clean Sweep Hands” that are above and beyond the usual hands. In order of strongest to weakest (with explanations and units earned in paranthesis), they are: the Dragon (one of each rank; 13), 13 Colors (all cards are black or red; 13), 12 Colors (3), 6-Pair (3), 3 Straights (3) and 3 Flushes (3).

So, there it is in short form. They have the game at Nine.com, where I am grinding out the last 400 out of 2200 points needed to earn my $150 deposit bonus. Should you play the game? I do, but only when I know I am donking around. I’ve gotten better at setting hands, and there is some strategy once you see how your opponents set theirs (some go for the high front hand, while others utterly ignore it and just place the leftovers there, for instance), but it still is a game that seems to grossly depend on luck.

If you care to give Chinese Poker a try, check out Nine.com (it may be elsewhere). But I’d suggest signing up via VegasPokerPro.com. I did, and I already received my 750 VPP Points (which I used, together with other points, for a $100 iTunes Gift Certificate). It only requires 500 points, I believe, so my suggestion is to deposit the minimum and then immediately deposit addition dough as you desire. This way, when you are done with the VPP bonus, you will also finish (or be near finishing) the Nine.com cash bonus. Good luck, and play safely.

I played the Mookie last nice and utterly embarassed myself. I can’t help but think of SirFWALGman as a loose madman at the table. It’s far from the truth. I had a nice stack when I eventually called his all-in with top pair shitty kicker. As soon as I lost, I closed the window, transfered the $11 last longer bet to SteelerJosh and shut off my computer. At least I can hide from my shame.

But, man, I love that Mookie.

Before I get to my post-in-full, for any of you players/bloggers who are in the market for a headphone/microphone headset, there is one on sale now at Woot.com for $20, $5 shipping. For the uninitiated, Woot is a great site that offers one product for sale each day, usually at a deep discount. Even though I am not looking for anything in particular, I check it daily just to see whats for sale. It’s usually tech related, except for the occassional golf club or bag-o-crap. Why would you need this? You don’t. But on occassions, some folks like to voice chat on the girlie chat thing during a tournament. I haven’t done it in a while, but it is light-years better than typing into a chat box between hands. Instead, just play your game and chat away.

Now, its time for some random poker pontifications. I actually wrote this about a week ago, but didn’t post it for some unknown reason. Enjoy:

The Circuit podcast has been a boon for me, intellectually. It has provided me with some great material that has made its way into this here blog. For the most part, I just hear something and its like a light goes off in my head. As per usual, my interests usually lie in considering some of the unconventional aspects of the game, and this post is no exception.

In a recent episode of The Circuit, one of the hosts commented on an idea from Barry Greenstein. According to the host, Greenstein stated that the optimal way to play online poker was to have sessions of about one and one-half to two hours at the longest.

There is a lot of logic behind this idea. After a while, attention does drop off. One can only look at a series of pixels for so long before the desire to get up and walk around kicks in. Or maybe it is more that desire to check your email, IMs, or what’s on the television. Even without these distractions, fatigue sets in. Concentration drops off and suddenly you are no longer actively playing poker. You are on auto-pilot and playing worse than when you were actively engaged in the game.

Of course, for long form tournaments (my utterly made-up name for large field MTTs), you will need to play for more than an hour and a half. That would be the exception. Otherwise, I’m sure I would do myself well to walk away after a bit. In fact, I sort of do this now. I’m sure bloggers like Slb, GCox and Trip will attest to my usual style of playing a tournament and then “taking five” when I’m out. I need a bit of a brain reboot; some time away to make sure that I am still sharp and ready to go, as opposed to still in the zombie-poker mode and ready to continue.

What I find particularly interesting is that the opposite is true for live games. The longer I sit at a live game, the better I play. I always assumed that there was more going on. More to watch, more to learn, more to keep me plugged into the action. I’m sure that is part of the reason why I get better as time passes. Reads are more crucial, so the longer I am at the table, the longer I am able to gather those reads. I also feel the rhythm of the action a lot better as time passes when I play live (that rhythm again). Perhaps the lack of distractions (yes, even in a casino) is a factor as well. All said, I’m not sure why my game improves the longer I play live. These reasons aside, there must be something else.

Another conundrum. Play online for short sessions. Play live for long sessions. But it’s all poker. Thoughts?

We are going to try something a little different today at High On Poker. My main man Roose, brother from a different mother, partner in crime, and life of the party, has bestowed us with a trip report of his own. So I’ll let him do the heavy lifting today. Here goes nothing:

AC Trip ala Roose

After the Showboat buffet, which I believe to be the better of the boardwalk buffets, we each headed our own separate ways to “empty” ourselves which most buffets do to you time after time. Said goodbye to the ‘rents and headed to the poker room for the 10 pm tournament, which as you know I chopped first in. Just keep this in mind, this was my first big tournament win, and certainly not my last. Some highlights, as soon as I sat down, I immediately scoped out the players that I wanted to keep an eye on and the ones that I knew were weak. Jordan to my right in the #9 seat and me in the #1 seat, I see this guy to my left who looked about mid 40s, like he’s been playing a while and knew what he was doing. Lo and behold, he raised in position, re-raised when he saw weakness and folded when he knew he was beat. He was a good player. BHAM, my number one victim to take out. Unfortunately he was the one to take Jordan out early, and I vowed to take him out for revenge. I know this is not the way to play, but sometimes, you gotta represent your friends at the table. I believe I was the dealer, first to act folded went around with 1 other person calling, with AKs in my hand and position, I knew I was strong. With blinds only being 100-200 I knew people would call if I minimum raised them, so I rasied to 800. Good player to my right re-raises me thinking I’m #1 weak, or #2 playing position. Big blind folds, and the caller folds, heads up, exactly where I wanted him to be. Flop is 4-A-K, he immediately raises to 1000, I knew at that point I had him, just whether or not to just smooth call or re-raise. I smooth call the 1000 and the turn is a 10. I immediately put him on AT and with no flush draws out there, I was hoping he had AT. The two famous words that I love to hear “All In” was shouted and I call, with the blank on the river Mr. Good Player is out of the tournament. I go over to the cash table where Jordan is and tell him of my vengeful takedown, and knew my job was done and I can now continue playing tight until I reach the final table. At one point, this old man, who caught KK 3 times and QQ twice took a huge chunk out of my stack and I was down to maybe 300 chips or so. I get moved over to a smaller table where the old man was sitting to my right and I even told him before we started at that table that I would get my chips back. With 3 double ups against him, I got my chips back and more. the table was flabbergasted. When I reached the final table, I played tight again, only raising in position and folding most hands trying to climb the ranks by watching others go out. For the most part that plan worked, I ended up taking 2 of them out myself and with only 5 positions paying out, I had to sit back a little. When I kenw I was in the money, I loosened up a little, raising with mediocre hands and at that point I was big stack, so I was playing it well, some of them even commented on it and I loved every minute of it. Eventually there was 3 of us left, this one girl was playing tighter than a virgin hooker (Jordan comment: I would’ve also excepted “tighter than a frog’s ass”). I had A5c, I raised, she went all in, I called and she flipped over AJ. Basically, I caught the straight on the river and she was pissed. Hey man, that’s poker . Finally, my best game at hand, heads up, this russian guy knew I wasn’t playing around, with him the chip leader by about 50,000, we both knew it would be over in a few hands. So he announces those beautiful words… “do you want to chop?” I almost jumped up from my chair and kissed him. With Randy and Robby Hole behind me cheering me on, they were as excited as I was, and at that point, we all knew it was going to be a good weekend…

Now with Jordan explaining the craps, the poker, the strippers, and Ilan placing 4th out of 113, we were all riding high. After a weekend like that, who could complain? As everyone left, including Jordan, it was me, Robby Hole and Randy Hole left deciding whether or not to go to the Borgata poker room to play a sit ‘n go before we headed out, which I have never been to before and was pretty anxious about getting to. After about 20 seconds or so, we decided it was time to move out and headed to the Borgata. I never liked the Borgata as a whole, the table games were all $25 + and the people seemed a little too snobbish. But let me tell you, I have NEVER seen a poker room like this. I kenw it was going to be big, but damn!! I now believe in love at first site, the colors, the feel, the atmosphere, the space, the layout, I almost creamed my pants right there. Anyway, we all decide to check out the tournament situation, and with the lowest Sit N Go being $60+15, my name was on that list faster than you can say double fudge packer with dressing on the side. (Jordan comment: Knowing Roose, the dressing is Creamy Italian). At that point, Randy announced he was hungry, so they pointed him downstairs to the food court. Robby and I head over to get a poker card and lock in our seat. Randy was nowhere to be found, looks like he was going to miss the tournament while waiting for the big 30 min. burger, gotta suck. Of course, before the tournement started, I do my scoping of the table, wasn’t much at all. Except for the “talker” who was trying to get everyone to have a good time, being a talker can have its ups and downs and you’ll see why in a second. Naturally, Robby sits to my right and the talker to my left. I feel like there was a clown to the left of me and I was stuck in the middle . The cards are dealt out and the tournament on the way, my hands still shaking with excitement, it was a great table, and mostly because of that “talker.” I can tell he was a decent player, a little too aggressive for my taste, but a good player. I could also tell because the dealer knew him by first name, so that was a green light. This is why I love talkers at a table, it would be his turn, before he looked at his cards he would be gabbing and laughing, lift up the cards, whammo! silence, and what do you know, a raise. I couldn’t have read him better if he actually showed me his cards. I don’t know if other people saw this or not, but I don’t know how they couldn’t. I know Rob and I saw it right away, we even spoke about it. When Robby got out, I knew it was destiny all over again and when it was The Talker and I heads up, I knew it was over for good. Except for the fact that he kept out rivering me, I would’ve had him about 30 min. earlier that it went. For example, I was big stack, and I’m the button. He goes all in, I call. He flips up 7-4 off suit and I have A-J off or something of the like. Cards come out with Ace on the flop and a 7 high straight on the river for him. He kept doubling up, and at one point he had more chips than I did. I knew I needed to slow down just a little bit. I get pocket 7s, go all in and he calls with A3, win the pot and cripple him. At that point, we both agreed to flip the cards up with both of us all in pre-flop. I couldn’t take this emotional roller coaster anymore, might as well make it an All In Luckfest, because that’s exactly what it was. He STILL kept doubling up and at one point again, he was almost past me. Until I had J7 and he had A5, flop comes out x-x-A, I knew I was in trouble. The turn is a J, and I’m still alive and well. The river is………. J!!! and I scream out “FINALLY!!!!!” We hug and say good game, and call it a day or should I say weekend.

It was a great weekend as always in AC, if I win or lose it doesn’t really matter. I’m there with good friends and good times. But it doesn’t hurt when you win, you have that extra little smile driving back 3 hrs to NY.

Until next time… ROOSE OUT!!

As per usual, every hour, my memories of the weekend fade. After Ilan’s win, we were all ecstatic. We were all famished and exhausted from the lack of sleep and food, and I found solace in the $1.50 Kit Kat I had purchased before our Saturday gambling party. Seizing the opportunity, I also made my way up to the new room after picking up my bag from the concierge. Randy was already napping. Roose and Robbie Hole got their Zzzzzzzzs in a few minutes before. I sat on one of the beds in the empty room (we had 2 rooms now) and flipped through the channels. My gambling urge was satiated and I was exhausted, but sleep seemed unrealistic at the time. Nonetheless, once transfixed on the X-Games, it was only a matter of time before my eyes shut.

It wasn’t an hour later when I heard someone speaking at the top of their voice not 15 feet from me. Whatever was happening, Roose had decided to make a phone call to an apparently deaf person with total disregard for those sleeping. As my eyes openned, I saw Ilan and Robbie Hole were also in the room. Frankly, this was clearly no time for sleep. I was up and alert in 15 seconds. After some discussion on what to do about food (we had dinner reservations in an hour or two but were all hungry) we decided the hold off for dinner. Lord knows what we did until then. I have no recollection whatsoever.

Before dinner, we discovered that our group was going to be a lot smaller than expected. From 13 people sharing 2 rooms, we were reduced to 7. Three guests had canceled and three had arranged to get driven back home at 5 am. Dinner was also shorter, as the three who planned to leave at 5am (Scotty, JR and JR’s cousin/driver Juan) were still en route. Instead, Roose, the Holes, Justin, Ilan, Ilan’s brother Ari, Ari’s friend Brian, and I went to Rifici’s.

I almost am hesitant to tell you about Rafici’s. It’s kind of a family tradition to go there every Christmas Eve. We had decided on it for the bachelor party out of necessity. All of the larger restaurants on the Boardwalk were booked by the time we attempted reservations. Fortunately, Rifici’s was amazing. An Asian Robert Goulet sang the classics (and my request, “I Get a Kick Out of You” by Cole Porter) while we drank and ate plentifully. The great thing about Rifici’s is that it is not a hotel establishment. It’s a neighborhood restauarant in nearby Absecon, NJ with a large interior and a huge menu. We started with some calamari, meatball and bell pepper dish, followed by soup or salad for the table (I went with the Caesar) and entrees (Veal with egglant and mozzarella). Fantastic across the board.

When we returned to the casino, I don’t even think we went up to the room. Instead, we went to the craps table. There, Roose, Robbie, Randy Hole and I scattered ourselves along the rail. Randy, who had never played before, was near me. I suggest that this was a good thing. I know what’s happening at the table, and unlike Roose and Robbie, my method starts fairly conservative. I bet the minimum Pass and back it up until I’ve won a couple of bucks. Then I reinvest those bucks on numbers, all the hards (just a dollar) and an occassional field bet. The key, though, is to only put profits on the table.

In 20 minutes we were all walking away from the craps table, up a combined $1200. A black guy on my right was rolling up a storm. Randy crapped out relatively quickly (welcome to craps, baby!) and I went on my own long roll or three. After me, an old lady who looked constantly surprised and scared started to roll like their was no tomorrow. After her, we all knew that we had been on a good roll and it was time to join the crew.

Of course, the order of these events could be all jumbled in my head. Another version of the story would have us play craps before dinner. In fact, after dinned I remember scurrying to the cage for more singles and the bathroom for more…well, relief. When Robbie Hole and I returned to the room, the late arrivals were there along with the rest of the crew. Everyone was sitting around and I figured out quickly that there was another peach-scented presence somewhere nearby. In fact, the strippers were already in the bathroom preparing for the show.

On the car ride home from the restaurant, we had some trouble finding parking. During the drive, Robbie Hole and I decided to get a prop bet going. We’d both choose three names, and if the strippers had any of our chosen names, the winner got paid. I went with Maya, Angel and some other random name. I think I went with a darkhorse Stacey on a hunch. Other names that I considered included Summer, Amber, Dawn, and Cindy. I don’t fully recall Hole’s choices, but whatever the case, we both lost. I was close though. One was, in fact, a Summer.

The ladies were surprisingly attractive. One had a Paris Hilton with boobs thing going on. The other was a standard pin-up blonde chick, but better quality than your average stripper. Their performances left a bit to be desired by my account, but overall they got the audience into the show. I did hear a few sarcastic grumbles about the girls blatant desire for cash, but that was to be expected.

I’ve said it before, strippers don’t do much for me, moreso than not. After a while, it seemed like they were going through a routine, the exact routine that two other girls went through at my bachelor party a year prior. I was watching the clock and anticipating more gambling. When they ultimately decided to get going (no extras for this class act), I was on my way to the poker room in no time with Robbie Hole in tow.

I should probably mention that on Friday night, Hole gave me the second shirt that he and I designed. I will probably take a picture and post it, but its essentially a superman logo in green with two vertical lines through the “S”. So, its’ a dollar sign Superman shirt. If you’ve been reading for a while, you know that the tradition red, yellow and blue Superman shirt was a standard poker uniform for me. It causes people to discount me as a player and I’ll often get decent action as a result (sometime, like in the Friday tournament, I forget to account for image). The new shirt is my pride and joy, a one-of-a-kind shirt that is actually creative but also preserves the image of an immature person…which of course I am not…

Anyway, at the poker room, Hole and I went our separate ways. My table was fairly tight and solid. I hate when that happens. I considered moving tables, but I stuck it out once I saw that I could get a feel for the players. I also found the fish.

In one particular hand, I had AJ in MP and raised from 2 to 12. I got one or two callers, and a J-high flop. A player in early position bet out 20 and I considered for a moment before re-raising to 70. I really enjoy the big bets, especially when they have a purpose. The board had two clubs and I wanted to push off any drawing hands. To my surprise, he considered it for a while before calling. The turn was an offsuit Ace. I made my straight. It was checked to me and I bet out $100. I figured to bust the guy or get him off of his hand. I didn’t mind winning the pot then and there. He took some more time but folded with a look of disgust in his face. “I’ll show you for $1.” He tossed me a chip and I tabled my AJ. “I had J6, two pair on the flop.” “Tough hand, man.” Inside, I smelled bullshit, but it was covered by the scent of money. His $1 went to the dealer along with another from me. Oh, and I planned to show anyway. The $1 just made it fun.

That hand put me ahead $50 or so. Over some more time, I dipped to $20 profit. When the floor came over to change decks, I saw it was time to move on. I was exhausted, it was late, and a break was in order.

When I left the room, I found the rest of the guys by a bar and the surrounding table games. Scotty was playing high-stakes craps, and was kind enough to toss some chips to Robbie Hole and Roose. They both won several hundred before paying Scotty back. Meanwhile, I won and lost $100 playing blackjack at the makeshift table by the bar, and lost $50 playing Roullete. The Holes and I hit up the Pai Gow where I got more Pai Gow than ever before (for you non-pai gow players, that meant that I was constantly dealt crappy hands). However, after some time, I ended up $8.50. I had enough of those silly table games.

We headed upstairs for some refreshments, and the rest of the crew was already there. After some drinks, I discovered that a group was heading to the club. It wasn’t really in the cards for me. It was 5am, I was worn out, and I didn’t even have any clothes that would fit their dress code. I stayed behind with Robbie Hole and Justin. Before everyone left, I had a chat with Scotty. He offered once again to buy a piece of me in a tournament. We agreed that I would look for a 300-500$ event and he would pay half the buy-in for a 50% stake. He wisely offered the same deal to Roose. I can’t wait.

As I hit the sack, I contemplated playing a sit-n-go at the new Borgata Room on Sunday morning. I decided against it. Sunday morning gambling usually is just desperation. Instead, I was going to join Justin for an earlier exit to NYC. I was tired, my stomach was churning, my head ached, and I just felt generally abused, but I had another fantastic time in AC. I was looking forward to getting back to wifey Kim, but in my head I was already planning the next trip.

AC in November, anyone?