High On Poker

Hoyazo: J, you have to tighten up, man.
Me: I know. I shouldn’t have signed up for the WWdn NOT. It’s too late and I knew that when I registered. I was playing like I didn’t care.

First off, thank you Hoyazo. You are correct. I needed to tighten up. In a game where you lose by helping your “competition,” it is nice to have friends who will offer solid advice to improve your game. I don’t think anything is more valuable to a developing player.

Last night was a disaster. It was the second night in a row where I got off to a great start, and then let it all dissolve into an orgy of self-destructive poker play.

It started with a $10 Turbo MTT at PokerShare. I placed 3rd out of 34 players, mostly by playing smart, watching my opponents and staying out of the action. With a $33 profit, I decided to spread some wealth around.

Mistake #1: I was looking to play an MTT, and Weak_Player was online along with some other bloggers who play MTTs fairly regularly. Weak agreed to join me in an MTT, and I settled on the $24+2 HORSE event on Full Tilt. We were on Level 3 when I noticed that it was for a WSOP seat. Joy of joys. What a moron. I lost, and was actually almost happy about it.

Mistake #2: I then went looking for a NLHE table on PokerStars, only to settle on a table that was essentially heads-up. It was a ten-seater, but with only one other player, I had hoped to either dominate his $10 shortstack (.25/.50 stakes) or attract some more players. I was ahead a bit, mostly because he played so freaking tight, folding to any and all bets. But he eventually started playing back at me and took $4.50 off of me before he quickly exited. Doh! I should’ve chosen my table more carefully.

Mistake #3: I’m in an 18p $10+1 on Stars with Weak, and it’s about 11:20pm. The WWdn NOT starts at 11:30. I see that a lot of my blogger bretheren are playing, so I jump in. I immediately regret it because it’s late and I have a killer headache. So, I go to click Unregister, but the Unregister button is gone. I close the tourney window and re-open it, but no unregister button.

Mistake #4: Because of how late it is, I’m playing semi-nihillist poker. I’m bleeding chips because players won’t fold to me. I hold 99 and raise preflop and get two callers, including Waffles. On the flop, it’s all unders with two spades. I make a pot-sized bet and get one caller. Waffles pushes. I fold. He has 37s, for bottom pair, flush draw. The other guy, Bone-Daddy, if I’m not mistaken, has QTs. Waffles rivers 2-pair, so I would’ve lost the hand. I don’t know if I played this well or not…

I do know that I played THIS hand wrong, but, if you ask me, so did my opponent. I get AKc and I bump it up, getting one caller. The flop is 34x, all unders and I think I continuation bet . I get called. The turn is 5. I push (or I re-raise all-in). He has 56 and wins the fooking hand. WHAT IS HE STAYING IN WITH 56o PREFLOP FOR!! Why? Because I STINK!

Mistake #5: So Weak and I are still in the 18 person SNG for $10+1. I’m playing fairly well, giving a lot of action, and bouncing from last place out of 18 to top 3. It’s down to 7 players. I lose the WWdn, and then I donk off my chips at the SNG while still tilting. I DOUBLE STINK!

I did, however, win a Peep Sex SNG (i.e., SNG for a token to a $24+2 event at Full Tilt) amidst all of these disasters. I also lost a $20+2 turbo SNG at PokerShare.

What a ridiculous night. Down $47 or so. It would be more, but I count the $6.60 that I used to buy in to the Peep Sex SNG as a loss. Then when I use the $24+2 token (hopefully soon), no matter what, I consider it $0 loss (or a possible win). With clever accounting, I can consider the Peep Sex an $18 win, and be down only $20 or so, but I’m not trying to go that route.

Ernie the kitten had continued to be the bane of my existence. Yesteday she woke me at 3am to play Bite the Flesh. Wifey Kim, exhausted from the night before, was out pretty early, so I took the role of protecting her from the kitten’s playful (read: obnoxious) spirit. It’s much like my old dog Cassie. I loved Cassie, but I couldn’t stand her. Same goes for Ernie. Lesson learned.

My GERD (acid reflux) has also been back with a vengeance this week. I think it might be stress from the office, but maybe it’s my eating habits. Nothing seems out of the ordinary though. I also have some silly pressure in my head, and the net effect is that I want to be shot and put out of my misery. The over-under at staying in the office today is 2pm.

All of the above also contributed to my horrible play yesterday. I think I need to reevaluate a couple of things. I need to play less per evening. When wifey Kim falls asleep, I play poker. Instead of playing as much as I did, I should have just played one tournament (the one I won) and then turned it in for the night. If I did this the last two nights, I’d be up about $85 between the two, instead of down $90 or so. I guess that is the most important thing, and I plan on focusing on it for the near future.

Have a great day! I’ve got my home game scheduled for Sunday (currently 10 players, including Dawn from I Had Outs and F-Train, tentatively). Next weekend, I’ll be playing at SoxLover‘s place with Weak, Garthmeister and, I’m sure, some more bloggers.

The best part of blogging, right there folks. The home games. I’m OUT!

Last night, Mama High had Papa High bring over their new kitten. The Parents High will be heading on another vacation, god bless them, just weeks after getting their new cat, Ernie. Now, we’ve never had a cat before in Casa del High growing up, but wifey Kim had cats. At first, I thought that cats were creepy, but when I met wifey Kim’s cats, back when she was just girl-I-was-instantly-in-love-with-but-was-still-trying-to-get-with Kim, I discovered how fun and low maintenance a cat can be. Ernie was no exception when I met him for the first time last weekend…until last night.

First off, that cat sure does like typing. On a couple of occassions, Ernie took the opportunity to tell my opponents at PokerShare, “asdjflllllllllllllllllpl;’[” How cute! But then it was time to sleep, and Ernie, who had slept all through a great episode of Lost, was wide awake, moving around our small bed (NYC apartment = de facto small bed) and choosing random body parts like my ear to be his play toy (claws, teeth and all). Aw, how cute…and annoying. At least I learned this: wifey Kim and I are not getting a cat.

I played some poker too yesterday. I started with some .50/1 NL at PokerShare and won $6.70 after about ten minutes, at which point my table broke. Their traffic is slow, so I went on to the .25/.50 NL table and won $23+. In one hand I admittedly got lucky. A short-stacked payer in the BB with about $10 called my preflop raise to $1.50 from the CO. I held AKo. He foolishly called me with KT. The flop was KJT, though, and, if I’m not mistaken, he bet $3. I raised him almost all-in, and he decided to push. On my end, I was already up about $10 and was willing to gamble it up. I had a feeling that I may’ve been behind, but I thought that the exposure was limited. He showed his two-pair and probably smiled…until the turn was a Jack and his two pair was counterfeited. After that hand, the table broke, and I turned my attention to Lost and Ernie.

Near the end of Lost I signed on to quickly sign up for the Mookie. I realized that wifey Kim and I would be done with the show at around 10pm, the Mookie start time, so I jumped in and planned to post and fold for a while. When I got to the game, I was at an all star table. I made some plays to chip up, but then played some hands awefully. One was against Hoff, and I have to say, he was ahead the whole time with QQ and I don’t think he bet out once. I had A9 and just kept betting, sensing weakness that wasn’t there. I really don’t get his play though. The board was xJK on the flop, and I suppose that he was scared of the K, but no raises at all? Not how I would’ve played it on his end, but the proof is in the pudding and his play won the hand and extracted extra dough from me. Maybe he knew that I was hanging myself.

Shamed again, I got out of there quickly and jumped into a 5-person $20 Turbo SNG on PokerShare. I took 2nd, ensuring that it was a profitable night, up $36 or so in total. Can’t complain one bit.

I’m now trying to figure a couple of bonus issues out. I’ve finished 300+ of my PokerShare points out of the 500 needed to get my PSO bonus. However, for me to get the 100% sign up bonus from PokerShare ($300), I need to clear 3000 points. That’s a HUGE difference, and seeing how I average it will take 2 weeks to get the PSO bonus, do I want to spend 12 weeks going for the deposit bonus? Time will tell. I am, in the meanwhile, considering other bonus options. After the PokerShare PSO bonus, I’ll have 12,500 PSO points, which is enough for either a $100 Party or Absolute gift certificate (+2,500 left over for a $25 gift card to Amazon or Best Buy) OR I can spend it all on gift certificates and get $125 for Best Buy or Amazon. My old quest for an iPod is still in the back of my mind, so I’m seriously considering the Amazon gift certificate…tough choice.

My original plan was to take the money and run. Then go to VPP for three promos so I can earn 2,250 VPP points, enough for an iPod Nano directly from VPP. It’s still a decent plan, but maybe I should just fast forward through it all, take the $125 in gift certs, and then spend my VPP points on more gift certs. Two ways to the same goal. Let’s hope this is my hardest upcoming decision.

I’m out! Have a good one.

In his most recent post, TripJax offered a series of questions to his readers. I will answer them here. Check out Trip’s post for more reader comments/answers.

1. What is the biggest mistake people make at a NL table? I’m going to offer two answers. The first is playing too scared. You have to be willing to be aggressive. The second, which is related, is playing outside of your bankroll. You are going to take swings, and you have to be able to live through them.

2. What is the biggest mistake people make at a Limit table? Playing Limit at all. Yuck yuck yuck! Actually, I’m going to say adjusting to table conditions appropriately. It’s very easy to tighten up when players are loose, but sometimes you are better off loosening up pre-flop to hit your monsters and get paid off.

3. Why do you play poker? Because I can not Not play poker. I love the challenge, I love the game, and I love the fact that I can win money.

4. If you weren’t playing poker, what would you be doing? Probably watching some bad television. Maybe doing some art.

5. What is your favorite poker book and why? Let’s go with Caro’s Book of Poker Tells, mostly because it is an interesting idea for a book and the pictures (from the 70s by the looks of the players) are hysterical. There is also a lot of good info in there, and many players haven’t read it, as opposed to the Bible, Super/System.

6. Who is your favorite poker player and why? Hmm. I have a lot of respect for Phil Ivey because he is just so damn quiet and intimidating. I will never have the quietness, but I want the intimidation part.

7. Which poker player do you dislike the most and why? I don’t really dislike any of them.

8. Do your coworkers know about your blog? Actually, one of them does. I came out of the Blog Closet last week. Let’s hope the person knows how to keep things quiet. I’m confident that he/she can. (I use ambivalent words so that if the Powers that Be do indeed know about this site, no one else will be implicated.)

9. What is the most you have won in a cash game or MTT (both live and online)? In a cash game, I won $650 at a 1/2 table. In an MTT, I placed 4th/1008 and won $650 also.

10. What is the most you have lost in a cash game or in one day total (both live and online)? I have lost somewhere to the tune of $350 or so, I think, live on one day, but it was part of a several day trip that saw me lose over $500.

11. Who was your first poker blog read? The Intrepid Card Player, although he is no longer blogging.

12. What satisfies you more, your aces holding up for a big pot or a bluff working for a big pot? Always the bluff. It’s easy with Aces. [insert copyright symbol here]

13. Why do you blog? Because of page rank. But really, because it gives me an opportunity to think and discuss poker when I am not able to play. As time has passed, it has also offered me a myriad of opportunities, like being invited to the All-In premeire party and meeting people to have a home game with. Those are the best perks to this hobby.

14. Do you read blogs from an RSS reader like bloglines or do you visit each blog? I visit each blog, because, mostly, I think it is more personal and I can get a feel for a writer’s personality by the site’s design.

15. Would you rather play poker for a living than do what you currently do for a living? Tricky one. My goal is to make the same amount doing both. Once a lawyer, always a lawyer.

16. Do you wear a tin foil hat on occasion? No, but I have a cowboy hat that I will not wear in public.

17. If you had to pin it down to one specific trait, what does a great poker player have (or do) that separates them from an average player? An innate intelligence. Broad enough for you?

18. Is Drizz the coolest person on the planet for naming his baby Vegas? Absolutely! I’m going to name my future kid Craps, and take the title of coolest person. Middle name will be Double-Zero.

19. What is your primary poker goal and are you close to accomplishing it? Primary? I guess to earn the same amount of money playing as I do working. I’m not close yet. Other goals are to win $2400 this year and to play in a WSOP event.

20. What is your primary online site and why? Noble/Titan, I guess. I move around a lot, but I’ve always liked their games.

21. What site do you dislike and why? TripJax.com, for making me waste time on this post. Oh, you mean online poker site? Hollywood Poker. They can SUCK IT! Why? Because I can’t seem to win there.

Yeah. Well, last night just sucked. I won $60 at one .25/.50 NL table and then lost about $170 (for a total loss of $110) in various NL tables and SNGs. I stink!

I woke up this morning after having a very vivid dream about being on vacation with my first girlfriend ever, Melissa. I remember that I was trying to re-kindle the flames, if only for one session. In my dream, she still looked the same, but she had an unseen child somewhere. All I knew was that I wanted to hit it and then quit it. I woke up next to wifey Kim. I was still in a sour mood about the loss the night before and the dream didn’t leave me in high spirits either.

“What’s wrong?” She can read me like a book sometimes. “Eh, I just had a bad dream and I lost $110 last night.” “Aw, it’s okay, it’s just a dream.”

I’m so lucky to have her. She didn’t even flinch at the $110 loss.

But she shouldn’t either. I mean, non-poker playing spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends (that last one is for Karol) don’t necessarily understand how poker money works. Wifey Kim and I are going through a financial crunch time right now, yet I have about $750 sitting in my bedroom and over $1000 online. Why don’t we just take that money and live a bit more comfortably? Because then I’ll have no bankroll and have to play small stakes games just to earn my way back to a decent roll. Instead, I can leave that money stashed away and play some more expensive games, winning more money and increasing my ability to withdraw with impunity.

Now, don’t get me wrong. When wifey Kim and I were discussing finances and she asked how much I had online, she definitely looked as though she wanted a withdrawal. That’s understandable. But she didn’t push it.

And don’t get me wrong the other way either. When I won $650 in AC, I bought wifey Kim some jewelery with my winnings. She deserves to profit from my poker play, too.

Fortunately, we’ve found a happy medium.

But onto goals. Last year, my goal was to win $1200 playing poker. I reasoned that if I could win $1200, or $100/month, at least all of my time with this silly little game would have some cognizable benefit. I was not looking good until December 2005, when I went on a tear and ended up $1251 for the year.

This year, I decided to up that goal to $1800. At the time, I reasoned that I had a $300 bankroll, and I didn’t have much opportunities to play live for serious stakes. If I could make $150 a month, that’d be a vast improvement. Joaquin, however, thought I was being short-sighted. He insisted that this year’s goal should be 3x last year’s goal, or $3600 for the year. Not me, I thought. I wanted an easily reachable goal, so that I wouldn’t be disappointed if I fell short.

Joaquin, you were right. I was short-sighted. As of last night (possibly prior to my losses), I was up about $1400 for the year so far. In all actuality, that was from Valentine’s Day on, when I lost my original year-to-date ledger. So, it’s time to re-evaluate.

New goal for 2006…$2400. Again, it’s an easily attainable goal. I have no doubt that the beginning of year may have come with some positive variance, expecially in my live game, where about $1000 of the $1400 was made. My online game is not exactly what it should be, but hopefully I can turn that corner.

So, not $3600, yet. But I’m getting there. Maybe I’ll be re-evaluated in a couple of months, bumping it to Joaquin’s suggested number. Let’s hope so. Until then, make mine Poker!

In DADI news, the VegasPokerPro Bounty, originally placed on VPP_Dave will now be on Mark from VPP (I believe his screenname is VPP*Mark, but you’ll know him when you see him. Knock out Mark and get 500 VPP points, which can be used in the VPP store.

I’m also working on another big-name sponsor, probably for DADI 7. I’ll let that cat out of the bag when it’s ready.

Trip has set up the actual game now on Stars, so head over and sign up. I’ll be doing it tonight, so that I don’t donk off my entire Stars roll before the DADI 6.

I’m also signing up for Noble poker‘s Reload bonus (or for new depositors, Bonus Code HighPoker). I had been working off a bonus at Titan, and I have $15 left out of the $100 bonus. I withdrew all of my money there yesterday, and I’ll be depositing at Noble, which has easier bonus requirements and an upcoming $500k freeroll which I was invited to. Crossing my fingers, as we speak.

Hi. My name is Jordan. And I am a former SNG player.

That’s right. FORMER. Because, apparently, I don’t got it anymore. Need proof? Fine. Let’s go to the tape.

SharkScope.com has me rated as having a negative ROI in SNGs on PokerStars. No surprise there, considering that I seem to be on a steadily decline there since my nearly back-to-back 45person SNG wins. Ever since then, it’s like the money is trying to go back to its rightful owners.

Last night I started off well in a 27person SNG with GCox. Him and I were both up early, only to be relieved of our chips before we even reached the final table.

Surflexus then IM’ed me. He’s been on a tear, and I have to congratulate him on his recent winning ways. But playing with him didn’t rub anything off on me. I was out in 9th place out of 9 players. Chalk it up to my Alpaca-ish performance. As Lil’ Jimmy Norton would say, I Stink!

Thankfully, the atrocious play at .25/.50 NL at PokerShare made up for my other inadequacies. I took about $55 off the table in over an hours worth of play. It seems like the longer I play at a NL hold’em cash game table (live or online), the more in the groove I get. By the end, it’s hard to leave.

I also had a dream table at Noble (Coupon Code: HighPoker). Unfortunately, my cards were dead, so I couldn’t capitalize. It was a full 2/4 limit table, but at the ideal time, there were only 4 players: me and the Three Stooges of the Alpaca world. All three were the loosest, worst players ever. One was a bit aggressive, but the other two were calling stations. It got to the point that on 2 separate hands, I raised the entire way with Ace-high confident that I would take down the hand….and I did. My opponent didn’t fold though. He called me down with a worse Ace-high on one occassion and…wait for it…TEN-high on the other. If I was a nicer person, I would ask if he was expecting a 6th community card, but I don’t like to educate the competition. This same guy called down another player and then checked the river when he was last to act…with four of a kind, 9s! Call, call, call, check? WTF? If the guy folded to his river bet, big whoop. If he called, that’s just more money. If you think that is crazy, he flopped 4-of-a-kind 7s the very next hand and called the whole time, not betting once. Insane! I also saw him call players down with QJ after missing the flop entirely, only to, of course, lose. It got to the point where I got sad when he’d lose. Less money in his pocket meant less for me to poach on. In the end though, after busting a half-dozen times, he went back to his chrystal meth, and I didn’t even get much off of him.

Before I leave you, I found something funny today. If you check out THIS SITE, you have the opportunity to see the post that started all of the controversy. Looking back, I can say now that it is really quite humorous. As a result of the On Blogs post, a poker blogging controversy was born. For a couple of days, I didn’t even want to look at my blog, because it just bothered me so much. This blogging thing is supposed to be fun, and the silly drama was just a useless distraction. If you missed the whole saga, it resolved when a certain blogger and I removed the flaming posts from our sites, unilaterally as an unspoken truce (at least to me, but presumably by the end, by both of us).

Well, someone must be eating too much fiber, because this turd nugget just didn’t stay down when it was flushed. I wouldn’t have found it if people didn’t come to this humble blog via it’s link. Whatever the case may be, I encourage its author to leave it online. I’m over it, and it’ll give anyone without Bloglines who missed the controversy a chance to see just what all the fuss was about. Just do me a favor and don’t comment about it here. I’m not looking to start any new drama. I’m just fast-forwarding to the part when we look back and laugh about how silly it was.

On a final note on that subject, I hope the people who found my site via that controversy have realized that I am not concerned with page rank, hits, or any classification of blogs in general. I was reacting to an article I read which pointed out these things. The vast majority of my blog has been about me, the game I play and the people I meet. This is all for good reason, because these are the real value to me, in relation to this blog. Me, Poker, and You. It’s so hokey, I just vomited in my mouth.

I spent the entire weekend on Long Island, doing various things non-poker related. I did, however, sneak in some time at the Stud H/L and Stud tables at PokerStars, the only site downloaded to my parents’ computer. I have bonuses to work on at PokerShare (200pts already completed out of 500pts needed for my PSO promotion) and Titan/Noble (working off my last 25$ bonus out of the original 100$), but I don’t need my parents to see the 10 different poker sites that I have downloaded at my apartment. As the Fresh Prince once aptly put it, Parents just don’t understand.

Meanwhile, I did get some time to play off some Pokershare bonus last night, playing in an 81 person MTT, which had a nice overlay of about 200$. I’m starting to realize that THIS is the real value in smaller sites. For those that don’t understand, some sites have guaranteed prize pool tournaments. The one I played was a $10 buy-in with $1000 guaranteed. So, if there are less than 100 people playing, then the online poker room has to put in their own money to reach the guarantee. In this case, with 81 players, PokerShare put it $190 of their own money. This is great because 17 spots paid out of 81 as a result, and the payouts were slightly higher (I imagine that without the guarantee, less than 17 spots would get paid out).

By the way, I went out in 19th place, out of the money. What can ya do?

I also got a big trounced in the NL cash games. In the end, I made back my deficit of $30+ on one table, but lost about $30 on another. Total for the night, down $45 or so. Hmm. No complaints. That’s poker.

I noticed that I was saying NH a lot. I don’t know why. I guess it was because I wasn’t taking anything personally. In one hand of the tournament, my AA was against 22 pre-flop and he rivered a 2. I typed, “NH” (oh yeah, for those who don’t know, NH = nice hand), and someone else typed, “why is that a nice hand?” My response: “He’s got my money now. I’d imagine that’d be nice for him.” I wasn’t pissed at all (at least not at Mr. 22). I think it is because I want to (a) encourage players to continue to go all-in with 22, and (b) get an impression about me. If they think I’m some shmuck who thinks every winning hand is nice, then so be it. We know better. If they think I’m a sincerely nice guy just having fun, then maybe they’ll take it easy on me. Even if they don’t and decide that they want to take advantage of Mr. Nice Guy, let them try. Once again, we all know better. I’m neither Mr. Nice Guy or Mr. Knows Nothing. In fact, I’d go with Mr. Good Time Guy, because that’s what it’s all about. Having a good time (and winning money in the process).

So, guess what’s happening next weekend? Wifey Kim has a bridal shower, followed by a baby shower. What does this mean to me? You know it. Poker. So, the plan is to have a home game on Sunday, $60 NL hold’em tournament followed by a cash game. The 5-Diamond club (as I’ve dubbed my apartment) will be open from 2pm to 8pm. Thereafter, get the hell out. Wifey Kim will be home and I need to mentally prepare for the anguish of Monday morning. I’m going to invite some fellow bloggers, and if you think you might be interested, shoot me an email at highonpokr AT yahoo DOT you know the rest. I have about 13 email addresses, so if you know another one, feel free to use that one too.

On, and 2 weeks until DADI 6. Be there or be…somewhere else, I suppose.

Oh that incorrigible Dilbert and his suicidal tendencies! When will he ever learn!?

-$100. Yep. I finally lost. Why, you ask? Well, folks, when you reach the pinnacle of Mt. Success, it’s natrual that you are going to see the other side of the mountain, Variance Valley!

Yep. Admittedly, some of the losses were due to bad play. I entered the WWdn Not last night for the first time, and proceeded to embarass myself. I just played awefully, and got my ass handed to me. To be fair, my last hand was QQ v. KJ. Preflop I make a 4x BB raise, and KJ calls. The flop is K-high, but all diamonds (I don’t have one). I decide to push. Yeah, great move.

But before that, it seemed that variance was just having its way with me. I had A9 and flopped top two-pair. I bet the pot the entire way, only to be called every step of the way by 55, who hit runner runner straight. I don’t know what he was thinking. Probably, “Hmm, it sure is fun winning money.” I left that room down $50. I lost $50 in another room also, although I don’t remember any of my catclysmic play.

I didn’t, unfortunately, play in the home game of the I Had Outs girls. Girls, I’m sorry. I truly am a poker degenerate, but I had some business at home to handle. Without me there, the field was probably MUCH weaker, so I’m sure one of you ladies took down some nice dough. Keep in mind for next time though. I’m personally very disappointed that I couldn’t attend.

I don’t really feel much for blogging about poker. A -$100 night can do that to a man. I do, however, need to give a couple of shoutouts to some random fellow bloggers. Hoyazo deserves a round of applause for some of his recent posts. He did a nice job of discussing why he plays poker and it got me thinking. I also have to clap it up to Bloody P. I’ve been playing in SNGs with the P a lot lately, mostly $1 and $2 tournaments on Noble (bonus code: HighPoker). It’s been fun. I played two last night (he wasn’t able to get into the first one in time) and placed 4th/6 in both. I have to admit that I don’t play my best in the micro stakes. But I had a great time. Funny how it was only a year and a few months ago when I considered $5 tournaments to be too high.

This weekend I will be on Long Island the entire time. A family friend of wifey Kim’s is having a bar mitzvah (it’s a Jew thing), and its at the temple where wifey Kim and I were married. It should be nice to actually experience the place, rather than host a party where everything is happening around you and there is no time to stop and smell the salmon. Mmmm…salmon.

The net effect of my LI trip will be little, if any, poker. I will, however, get drunk on free booze on a Sunday afternoon. It’s not a bad consolation prize.

Finally, I leave you with a quick story about my recent Settlement Conference. Two days ago (or was it three?) I wrote about my anticipation for the conference. The way it was explained to me, the female 90-year-old judge was going to grill me and try to force me into settling by insulting my age, knowledge, character and finally, fashion sense (good luck there, lady…er, judge lady). I finally had the conference yesterday.

I got to the Courthouse at 8:45. I couldn’t see the judge until 9:30 (and even then, I had to wait for my adversary), so I found a seat on a bench in the hall and pulled out Freakonomics, my current light reading. As I’m sitting, I hear someone call out my case name. My adversary was early too. We introduced ourselves and sat down. She was covering for another attorney and knew nothing about the case. I was covering for another attorney and had prepared, but you can never fully prepare.

So, we sat on the bench for 20 minutes or so, trying to cram for the upcoming Judge’s exam. We shared notes like a couple of desperate teens before their final exams.

Finally, we get called in to see the judge. “We need you to fill out this form,” the bailiff says. The judge is not in the room, but is probaby nearby. My opposing counsel fills out their part and hands the rest to me. I’m writing when I see an roley-poley grey-haired man sit down in the judge’s chair. I ignore the Y-chromosome for the time being, as I feverishly fill in the form which was supposed to be done BEFORE we see the judge.

“So, tell me about the case?” The grilling had begun. As I wrote, my adversary began to talk. “Well, there is an appeal pending right now.” “So it isn’t going to settle.” Now I look up, but she talks first, “Probably not.” The judge looks down at his papers. “Okay counselors, do you want to come back here or should I remand?” He looked at me.

Now, here is the thing. I had an imperfect amount of information. My Team Leader told me that he didn’t want to go back to the Court for another conference, and that we were ready for trial. However, I only knew the term Remand in one context, and this wasn’t it. What to do? I evaded his question.

“Well, Your Honor, we are ready to go to trial.” “Okay,” the Judge replied, “Remanded!” STAMP! “Um, thank you, Your Honor.” I scurried out of the room. Boom, I’m on my cell phone, talking to one of the partners. “Hey, ________, I’m at the courthouse and the Judge just remanded the case. Um, what does remand mean?” It meant that we were going to trial.

Thank fucking god.

Lawyerin’ ain’t easy, but, yo, it ain’t hard no!

There seems to be a new wave of bloggers over the last several months. Well, welcome to the wonderful world of poker blogging and all it has to offer. Look to your left. Now look to your right. By the time you are done blogging, there still will be no one sitting next to you on your left or right. But you will have met a few dozen people by playing in blogger events.

At first, there was the WPBT. Then, as the poker blogging boom hit, the proliferation of blogger events have only soared. Some see it as an epidemic, spreading across the countryside, laying waste to the crops as it swarms. Others see it as a boon for us pokerfiles, another opportunity to meet up with like-minded individuals and play poker while chatting it up.

For anyone who has not played in an online blogger event, let me explain what you should expect. You will generally see a lot of chat. Don’t be shy. Get in there and mix it up. Trust me, most of the players can take it, and those who can’t, well, they deserve to be tilted. You’ll also notice in some events (see WWdn, below) that there are non-bloggers participating. They’ll be quieter, and are likely to have Trekie icons. Well, so be it! Take their money and move on!

With all that said, let’s get down to a listing for all events poker blogging related. I’m going to by day of the week, so I don’t want to hear any yapping about putting one before another. Of course, we’ll start with DADI. Why? You know damn well why! It’s because DADI is the premiere monthly poker blogging event, and I should know, since I, along with TripJax am a founder:

DADI
When: Monthly (Next Event: May 29th at 10pm EST)
Where: PokerStars
Who: Bloggers and Readers
How Much: $10+1
Game: Varied (Next Event: Pot Limit Hold’em)
For More Information: The DADI Website

DADI, which stands for the Donkeys Always Draw Invitational, is a monthly event hosted by yours truly, and TripJax, along with the sagely advice of GCox, the M.C. of the upcoming DADI 6. DADI originated when Trip and I decided that we wanted to play in a game with the 10 or so bloggers we were close with at the time. We hoped to reach 20, but it blew up from there. The events are monthly, and we try to change up the game each time. So far we have had NLHE, PLO8, Heads Up, Short-Handed, and Deep Stack WSOP-Satellite tournaments.

WWdn
When: Tuesdays, 8:30pm EST
Where: PokerStars
Who: Bloggers, Readers, and Trekkies
How Much: $10+1
For More Information: Wil Wheaton’s Blog

Wil Wheaton, in case you don’t know, was once the young actor who played Wesley Crusher on Star Trek the Next Generation. He is currently balancing acting, voice-over work, writing, and poker. He’s a member of Team PokerStars, and has arranged these weekly games for a long while. It’s a good mix of players, and since it’s weekly, the next WWdn event is just around the corner. It’s all No Limit Hold’Em.

The Mookie
When: Wednesdays, 10:00pm EST
Where: PokerStars
Who: Bloggers and Readers
How Much: $10+1
For More Information: Mookie’s Blog

The Mookie started in much the same way as the DADI. Originally called the Big O Poker Tournament, it was an attempt by Mookie to create an event where fellow bloggers/readers can have a good time. It has done increasingly well, do in large part to regulars and the fact that the game always involves good banter. It’s all No Limit Hold’Em.

The WWdn:NOT
When: Thursdays, 11:30pm EST
Where: PokerStars
Who: Bloggers and Readers
How Much: $10+1
For More Information: This one I’m not 100% sure on, but Darval’s Blog seems to be the best bet.

The WWdn:NOT was originally Wil Wheaton’s West Coast tournament. Naturally, a man can only host so many tournaments, so Wil packed it in. Then something strange happened. Like Mumra himself, the WWdn just wouldn’t die.

The WPBT
When: Varied (Twice Monthly)
Where: Varied (Generally, PokerStars and FullTilt)
Who: Bloggers only
How Much: Varied; generally $20+2
For More Information: Biggestron’s Blog

The WPBT, which stands for the World Poker Bloggers Tour, was the granddaddy of them all. It’s a series of events arranged solely for Bloggers, with a Player of the Year (POY) system. The games are varied, as are the locations.

Now, there are others out there, sure. Most notably, a couple of sites have tried to make Blogger freerolls if bloggers are willing to post about the tournament’s sponsor. I wish I had more information on these, but I don’t. That said, they can’t be too hard to find.

Hopefully, this has been an enlightening journey through excessive blogger tournamentdom. Above all, there is always a game around the corner, and plenty of bloggers to fill the rank. So, join us for DADI, and while you are at it, hit up some of these fine tournaments. And I’ll see you at the virtual felt.