High On Poker

Just an idea. It’s no Low Limit Grinder. Nice job Trip. I am truly impressed.

“Judge, we do not want to have to wait until January for another meeting because we have an elderly plaintiff.” I tried my best to convey to the prehistoric judge our need for a quick resolution. In truth, I knew little about the case. The judge knew I knew little about the case. Opposing counsel knew that I knew little about the case. But when the bossman has a family emergency and someone needs to show up at Court by 9:30am, the guy who arrives earliest usually gets that honor.

“He’s elderly, you say? How old is he?” Finally, a question I knew the answer to. “He is in his seventies, your honor.”

“His seventies!? You think that is elderly?” An attorney’s tools are the English language. Words, whether written or spoken, must be chosen carefully. I already made an error. The judge was well over 80.

“Well, not elderly your honor. I am just trying to explain the need for a swift resolution.”

“How old are you?” This one was out of left field, but at least it was an easy question…until he answered it for me, “Thirty-four?” I am twenty-five (twenty-six in December). I’m balding, sure. And I’m wearing a suit. But thirty-four? Shit, man. At least I’m not a female. Otherwise he would be stepping on dangerous territory.

Think quick. “Close, your honor. Actually, I am thirty-two.” A little white lie wouldn’t hurt anyone. Opposing counsel lets out a chuckle/surprised shock. Either he can see through the B.S. and can tell I’m a green kid, or he is finally fed up with the Judge’s nonsense. The judge turns to him. “Let me guess, sixty?” “Actually, fifty-nine your honor.”

This was my morning. Playing dress-up with the big boys. In the end, nothing significant got done, but I played my role. To let them know my actual age would’ve been to announce that (a) my bossman couldn’t be bothered to send someone with experience, and (b) I’d be easy pickins to steamroll over. This game is about two things. One I’ve already told you about, words. The other is perception. So maybe my bald palatte is a benefit. I sure as hell will use whatever I got.

Ok, down to the reason you came by here. Poker.

This weekend was pretty blah. I played a lot. Maybe too much. I’m grinding out my Paradise bonus and should be done by mid to end of the week. Then I focus on Royal Vegas for my Vegas Poker Pro bonus. I suggest that you all click on the link and check it out. I plan on playing on Royal Vegas for Little Acorn Man‘s weekly UK v. US blogger SNGs (assuming that this past weekend wasn’t an anomoly). I missed the SNG this weekend for my favorite burritos. Yep, there are few things that will get between me and poker. Baby Bo’s burritos are one of them.

So, while I’m at Royal Vegas, I might as well grind my way into another $50 gift certificate to Best Buy in my quest to get a TV that doesn’t run on leaded gas. If you are kind enough, you can even let me know that you are signing up at VPP and thereby allow me to possibly get an additional bonus. But hell, even if you don’t take a look at VPP and PokerSourceOnline (referral code: HighOnPoker). Because, if you aren’t using these services, you are wasting an opportunity. And waste-not, want-not.

I placed in an MTT on Titan, raking in $.10 in profit. I also played in a freeroll via PSO (another reason to sign up), during which I employed the All-in with crap cards strategy meant to knock me out early or get lucky and dominate. After all for 200+ players, they were giving out cruises to the top 2. I don’t like them odds, so might as well play to lose. At least I succeeded in that goal. Otherwise, I grinded some more on Paradise’s 5-card draw. When I’m done there, I plan on leaving $20 or so at Paradise to get my 5-card draw fixes here and there. I think I have a great grasp on the game, which isn’t terribly hard considering the lack of NLHE nuances, and my 20 or so years of experience with 5-card draw specifically.

It doesn’t look like I’ll be playing live this week either, sadly. Mon and Tues are NJ continuing legal education classes (the last ones, that god!). Wed is wifey Kim and my one month wedding anniversary and we are using it as an excuse to go to Ruth Chris, an expensive steakhouse. It helps that we bought a gift certificate for someone and never gave it to them. So, it’s almost like free, even though we paid for it months ago. Thursday is a prime poker night, but I need to get my shit in check. I think I might be overdoing it, and I need to spend more time with wifey Kim, for my sake mostly. She has a calming influence on me. Even though we live together, in our cell phone-Internet world, it’s hard to actually find time to connect with someone face-to-face. Friday is Friday. If I could, I’d be at Genoa at their $40, 1 rebuy, tournament. But realistically, wifey Kim and I will be painting the town red, so I can’t complain. Well, I could, but who would listen?

I’m working on a follow up to “Message in a Bottle,” my story that was published in Dr. Pauly‘s e-zine, Truckin’. The new story takes place on a city bus, and is tentatively called, “Heroes.” But the idea is constantly changing in my mind, and it may take a turn to something that would make “Heroes” only tangential. Regardless, keep a look out, because once I’m done, you’ll see it here, and criticism is expected.

I want you to bluff me as hard as you can.

I’m at the office. I came in today hoping to go over all of my files in preparation with a meeting with the head of the firm. According to fellow new employee JC, the boss man was pretty thorough during thier Friday meeting. I was able to delay the meeting until Monday when I told the bossman that I planned to come in Saturday to go over my cases. I’m sure that earned some points. In general, things have been going great here. I’ve been complimented on my work and attitude. They are giving me more responsibilities including an upcoming deposition (my favorite, and a rarity to be given to someone with my experience). Overall, it’s all gravy. Mmmm…gravy.

On the home front, things are going well. I love wifey Kim. She is such a piece of ass, I don’t know what she sees in this here shlub. She’s been patient with my poker and busy schedule. I couldn’t ask for more.

So, I came into the office today. Wifey Kim is spending the night at her friend’s place on LI. Her friend, Suzanne, is a real sweetheart. Her hubby is out in the woods camping, so the girls wanted to have some time to do whatever girls do. In my head, it involves a pillow fight that breaks out into moans and groping. Damn that’s hot.

So, as I was saying, I came into the office. After, I’m heading to Hole’s place for a little bit before he, his girl, Roose and his girl go to some Halloween party in NJ. Damn. It’s Halloween and here I am without plans. Last year, wifey Kim, bro Keith, his girl Jen (now fiance), and me threw a Halloween Bash, in which I was passed out in my costume by midnight. I can’t help but overdo it.

Whoever can tell me who I was dressed as gets a gold star. Current leader on the gold star board is Fat Dan. Maybe I’ll make this into a contest. Most gold stars by the end of the year gets a prize. I don’t know what yet. It might be a crappy prize. It surely won’t be expensive. Maybe a piece of Jordan art (I dabble, you know). Maybe a deck of Copag cards or something. We’ll figure this out.

Anyway, I love Halloween, but this really isn’t Halloween this year. I blame it (not terribly upsettedly) on my Honeymooon, just 2 weeks ago, which rightfully took up my attention. Boo hoo hoo. I was in Tahiti instead of perfecting my Amish costume.

Oh, I saw a bunch of Amish today in Manhattan. Must have been 40 of them waiting around. One of them was on a cell phone. I know what you are thinking, they must be Mennonites (Amish sect that allow some electricity). Nope, pure Amish. Apparently, the rule of the Amish has something to do with being wired to the outside world. While they don’t use elecricity ala plugs, those Amish fuckers are pretty genius when it comes to rigging car batteries (I know, weird). So, there is a big issue in their community about people rigging car batteries to juice up wireless cell phones. Don’t believe me? Check out last week’s issue of Times! Yes, I read something besides poker books and blogs.

Ok, so here is where I get introspective. I have no plans for tonight. Good bud Dan called to see if wifey Kim and I were free to hang with him and his girl. Wifey Kim can’t and I kinda waffled. I spoke to little bro Dave and he is going out in the city. I don’t really feel like doing that either. In fact, I think I’ll end up playing some MTTs. But this makes me simultaneously happy and bummed. I love poker, and I love MTTs when I have the time. But am I being anti-social in an unhealthy way. Am I allowing poker to keep me from interacting with the outside world? It probably isn’t poker, as much as it is my tendency to sometimes withdraw at times. Poker just gives me an excuse or something to do. In the past it was videogames or namesake or TV or something else nonsensical. And, last night wifey Kim and I went out with three of her pals. The night before that, I hung with Roose and bro-in-law Marc at Genoa. So, I’m probably looking too much into it.

Anyway, I guess that is it for introspection and ramblings. Thank you all for the recent kind words. Please go to the You Decide #19 post and leave some comments. I know that it might be a no brainer, but if that is the case, just say so in a comment. I want Roose to see that when these things happen, it is not necessarily your fault, his fault or anyone’s fault. It’s gotta be like water off a duck’s back. Poker is part luck and part skill. Most people think you need to master the skill. Mastering the luck is important too though.

Back there I could flop a nut flush, I could bluff a pot, I was in charge of million dollar bankrolls, back here I can’t even hold a job PARKING CARS!

This is a quick one:

Why aren’t there blogger conventions in Atlantic City? I mean, Vegas is great, but AC ain’t too shabby. Can we make this happen? Of course, Okie Vegas comes first. Comments?

First off, look at the post below and help a blogger out.

Second, I was reading SirF‘s blog, and thinking about his self-proclaimed feelings of entitlement. It reminded me of a conversation I had with brother from another mother Dave Roose outside of Genoa club last night. Dave was the first player out of the tournament. I was the second. He was steaming from his loss and was angry about Kevin, a black guy who plays good aggressive poker. The hand between Dave and Keving went like this:

You Decide #19

Preflop, I limp, K raises from 50 (BB) to 200 0r 250. Joe (J) calls. D calls. I fold. All others fold too.

Flop is As2c4s. K bets 600. J folds. Dave raises it to 1200. K thinks for a minute and then calls.

Turn is 8c. K checks. D bets 400, and leaves his remaining 200 or so in his stack. K pushes. D and K have even stacks, so D calls the final 200.

The river is a 2h. Dave shows AQ for pair of Aces, Queen kicker. Kevin shows A8 for two pair, Aces and Eights.

Dave was steamed, but as far as I can tell, he played the hand perfectly. His reason for not pushing his whole 600 after the turn was not necessarily correct. According to him, it was an early hand and he didn’t want to put it all in yet. However, to me, it still looks like a good play because K could’ve felt like D had a monster and wanted to look weak. In the end, K hit a 3 outer, and successfully got D to bet it for him. BUT, D should’ve bet there regardless. K knew that, but it doesn’t make D’s play necessarily bad. He could have been protecting from a flush or a two pair suckout.

What do you think? I’m sure Dave would love your input.

You like poker, don’t you? How about bonuses? Want a new deck of high-quality, Copag playing cards along with the normal bonus offered for signing up to a new poker site? How about a poker table top or chips? Don’t need those? Well how about a $50 gift certificate to Best Buy, eBay or Amazon.com? No? What the fuck is wrong with you people?

As for the rest of you who like free things, check out Vegas Poker Pro, a website that is akin to Poker Source Online (referral code HighOnPoker).

You might be saying to yourself, why is Jordan suddenly pimping VPP instead of PSO? Well, I’ll tell you why. PSO is a fine site and is highly recommended. But when someone told me about VPP I had to see what the deal was. VPP offers the same or similar bonus prizes (but no point system like PSO), offers some different sites to play on, AND has lower bonus requirements on certain sites. The end product is that you and me, the consumer, benefits.

Specifically, VPP has deals for Poker Share, Royal Vegas, and James-Woods-endorsed Hollywood Poker. Minimum deposits at sites through VPP is merely $50 compared to PSO’s $100 requirement, for the most part. At Poker Room, you need only earn 200 points for VPP’s promotion, compared to 400 through PSO. At Absolute Poker, you need only ear 250 (VPP) instead of 400 (PSO). So, there you have it. You can’t go wrong.

I personally will be signing up at VPP for Royal Vegas, where apparently the bonus (10%) is small, but you also get an immediate $10 bonus. I’m only depositing the minimum $50, but if all goes well, I should beat the 250 raked hand requirement in no time and earn myself a $50 gift certificate to Best Buy to go toward my soon-to-be new big screen TV. I was going to buy Kipper‘s off of him, but I like my TV with more colors than yellow.

Now, here is the part when I whore myself. I haven’t made one cent off of this blog, and I never intended to. But it wouldn’t kill me either. So, if you are considering signing up for VPP, let me know via email at Brodybanky@aol.com or leave a comment here. I need your email address to get any sort of bonus from VPP, so email is preferred. Please let me know the email address that you did or will use when you sign up at VPP.

So, how can you say no? Play on a new site (fun!), earn the regular bonus from that site (free money!), earn a gift from VPP (free gift!), and help a blogger out (I’ve already sold 3 pints of blood this month alone!).

The power of poker compels you! The Power of Poker Compels You! THE POWER OF POKER COMPELS YOU!!

With poker rooms in the city being raided or voluntarily shutting down daily, I’m glad that Genoa is still open. Being small, have a license as a “social club,” and offering the no-fee tournament seems to be the magic combination to avoid police involvement.

Even so, I did not win tonight. I’m keeping this short, but I wanted to blog this to get it out of my head. I was the 2nd person out of the tournament. I never hit my stride. I pushed all-in as the small stack in early position with the hammer and got two callers. A flop of AKT and I knew I was done. Of course, I always play the hammer, but I also have the no-all-in-bluffs-with-the-hammer rule, let alone doing so in early position when I had more than 10x the BB. So, er, I suck.

I then gave away $100 at the 1/2 NL table, which is about as loose as an online table anywhere. My loss came after my opponent held AT and hit a TT6 flop. I had 77, and thought I was ahead against AQ or AK. I wasn’t. So, I’m home.

That’s it. I shed $140, but I’m still up at the Genoa overall (and up for the year live AND online). So, don’t cry for me Argentina.

The path of the righteous man is best on all sides by the inequity of the fish and the tyranny of evil cards. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak/tight through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost chips. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious suckouts those who attempt to poison and destroy my poker. And you will know I am the Shark when I lay my Aces upon you.

Hey everybody! Interesting statistic from Statcounter shows that aside from NYers, my 2nd most amount of readers come from the great state of Georgia. It reminds me of one of my favorite movie lines. First to name the movie gets a gold star. “Peach. I could eat a peach for hours.” Enjoy!

Moving on, I’ve continued to enjoy success in the 6-person $20 Rio Jackpot tables at Titan. I placed 1st in the two Rios I played last night. The second one included a bubble by GCox at my hands. Sorry, good buddy, but when I paired my 4 (47o hand), I knew I had you. GCox held 22. Quack quack indeed.

That makes 2 wins in a row. Four more 1st place wins get me a cool $30,000 (confirmed on Titan’s site). Four more 1st or 2nd places get me $300. Still not too shabby.

I’m starting to think playing Rios with other bloggers is bad for your health. I played one with SirF a couple of nights ago and bubbled. With top 3 places paying, I just think it is too tight of a structure to have both bloggers do well. It’s usually one or the other.

Even so, I am starting to think that me and Rio were made for each other (sorry wifey Kim, but the heart wants what the heart wants). According to my blog, I’ve played 13 Rios. I’ve taken 1st place 4x, 2nd 2x, 3rd 2x, and lost 5x. I’m no mathamagician, but I believe that comes out to $100 profit, or 38% Return on Investment. Not too shabby. If I can keep this up, I can regain my old bankroll figures.

I’ve been earning Titan Stars toward my bonus as well. I’ve already earned $50 of the $241 bonus I have coming. Each $1 in tournament fees ($3 per Rio) gets me 20 points toward the bonus. It sounds good on paper, but I need to earn another 700 pts before my next $10 is released. In other terms, 12 Rios. Oh well! I was going to play them anyway. If I was starting from scratch, I’d need 17 Rios. So, to continue earning my bonus, my goal is to play 8 rios per week. This should not be too difficult, as 2 per night is fairly easy. I am also, ironically, keeping myself to 2 per night. No more, no less (except for maybe weekends). This will keep my game fresh, and avoid late night last minute games. Lord knows I wanted to play a third last night. But I’m changing my play.

Paradise has taken a back seat through all of this. I still a PSO bonus to work off there. I put in for their 9000 PSO points, which I plan to redeem for $75 in Best Buy gift certificates and still have points left over. If I can get another referral bonus by the time I finish Paradise, then I can get $100 in gift certificate. Yep, you heard it right. ANOTHER REFERRAL BONUS! A HUGE thanks to Aussie Dave, aka DaveE, aka Embuscade (french for check-raise, incidentally) for signing up to PSO using referral code HighOnPoker. Get on the bandwagon people. Only YOU can make my dreams of affording a large screen TV come true. I’ve recently put in for $150 in BestBuy gift certificates, so I am on my way. I don’t plan to pay for it all through PSO, but every little bit helps.

In other news, the HUC2 Round 1 has finished, with nary a single HUC1 competitor advancing! To GCox, SteelerJosh, TripJax and Wonka, you let me down. Everyone expected me to lose. But you guys should’ve taken it down, damnit! Haha. It’s all love.

Finally, tonight I return to Genoa Club for their $40 freezeout. Roose, bro-in-law Marc, and possible Dave Ruff and his Ruff Riders will be coming along for the fun. Ruff found Genoa advertised on the web, and he is right to be concerned. After all, that is how raids happen. I was thinking of mentioning something to management, but it ain’t my business. Oh well. Wish me luck.

Frankly, Scarlet, I don’t give a free card!

**This just in. Look for my work of fiction, “Message in a Bottle” in Dr. Pauly’s e-zine, Truckin‘. Sweeet!**

I’ve taken my first step in my comeback trail. Last night, I revamped my game and came out with an overal profit of $36, which negates my SirFWALgman $20 HU loss and more importantly showed me a clear indication of what works and what doesn’t.

I made my profit playing SNGs surprisingly. Specifically, I returned to an old favorite: porno. Er, I mean, Rios. Titan and Noble (god, I hate publicizing my private poker paradise) have a great $20, 6-person SNG, where (get this) 3 out of 6 players are in the money. For all of you mathletes out there, that is 50% of the players. Third place gets only $1 profit, but when you are trying to minimize exposure while maximizing potential profit, it’s a great deal. If you place 3rd, it’s a wash. 2nd receives $13 in profit. 1st get’s $37 profit.

But wait…there’s more. If you win 6 Rios in a row, you get a jackpot prize somewhere around $15K or maybe more (it’s been a while since I checked). If that sounds too hard, win 1st or 2nd in 6 in a row and get a bonus jackpot of $300.

So, how did I do? Well, in the first Rio, I played ultra-conservative until I was blinded down pretty low. Whenever I’d limp in the SB after everyone else folded before me, the BB would go all-in to steal my pitiful 10 or 20 chips. I let him do it too, since I was usually cold-decked and did not want to put my money all-in even if I was ahead. Remember, the name of the game is survive until 3rd. I was shortstaked in the BB when the player to my left and the SB to my right limped in. I held KcQc. I believe I bet 3x BB, hoping to win it right there. They both called. Ug! Now, since I am playing an SNG and no side games AND since I have been running badly, I decided to concentrate on reading the players. Both were loose. The flop was Ts7s3x. SB checked to me, and I pushed. I had about the amount of the pot and knew that it was time to do something. The player on the left folded and the SB called. UG! Any Ace had me beat. However, he had Js6s for a flush draw…that never came. And suddenly I was back in it (and back to playing uber-tight). As it turned out, I made it to top 3. Then I sat back as the chipleader took out the other guy. I was outchipped by a longshot at this point, but the HUC2 practice helped my heads up game, and I took 1st.

In the second game, I kept my tight play strategy and made moves when appropriate, lasting until the top 3. I again watched the two other players battle back and forth, sticking my nose in only when I had the best of it. I bluffed a little more at this point (which I also did in the first Rio when it was down to 3) because I realize that at that point, players are tightening up AND with less players, most hands miss the flop. I placed 2nd after I hit mid-pair with a good kicker against the chipleader’s top pair, shit kicker. But, hey, streak of 2!

Now I was excited. I was chatting with SirF, Veneno and 100-2-Infiity (hereonout, Trauma), and decided to play one more Rio with SirF. Unfortunately, I decided to celebrate in the interim with some namesake. It was a great time playing with SirF, and we got down to the top 4, but I was eventually shortstacked, along with one other player, and decided to make a stand with Ad5d from the button. SirF, in the cutoff, had already folded. The SB (shortstack) folded, but the BB called with AJo and I call it a night.

So, lessons learned include: (i) Stick to low risk games with potentially high payoffs, (ii) concentrate on reading the players at the table, (iii) do not play while under the influence. The funny thing is that I doubt SirF knew I was a little lit. But I knew it, and my play showed it. Sometimes when I’m inebriated, I can still play well. But I’m trying to grind my way up right now, so there isn’t time for that sort of gamble. If I need any more proof, I just need to look at my recent success at Genoa, where I am stark sober. On that note, I’ll be revisiting my card room of choice for the $40 freezeout tomorrow (Thurs.). Wish me luck.

Final thought: Veneno told me last night to stop with the bitching (my words, not hers) and play some good poker. She thought the PTSD post was an excuse or complaint. Well, V, and readers, generally, the PTSD post was just a thought, and nothing more. I’m doing alright. We all go through down swings (unless you are Scott, that man is a machine), and this was mine. Good times from here on out.

They can take our lives, but they can’t take our POKER!!!

Okay. I may have lost a few of you with the post on Deceptive Drawing. But this one is for the masses.

I was reading Maxim magazine while at my NJ Continuing Legal Education class (as you can see, I’m not doing much in the way of learning about New Jersey law), when I came upon a small sidebar article about war veterans suffering from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) . Tell me if this sounds familiar:

“When the brain is overwhelmed, it gets frozen in many ways at the time of trauma, resulting in flashbacks, alienation, aggressive behavior, and diminished problem solving abilities, not to mention inopportune checkraising.”

Okay the checkraising part is all me, but the rest is PSTD. It is also a great explanation of tilt. When I go on tilt, I get stuck on a hand. It replays over in my mind like a flashback. I don’t want to chat or talk to anyone. My play gets more aggressive. My decision making gets worse.

So, next time I go on tilt, I am applying for disabillity and downing some prozac. Enjoy!

I knew you’d be here…playing poker.