High On Poker

On Saturday morning, after a long week, wifey Kim and I made our way uptown to the Port Authority Bus Terminal with the hope of getting to the Academy Bus to AC as early as possible. I had received a promotion from Tropicana Hotel & Casino in Atlantic City that blew my mind. Two free rooms, per week, any day of the week, through April 8. I also noticed that Alice in Wonderland in 3D IMAX was playing at the Tropicana as of this last weekend, so well in advance, I booked the room, purchased the IMAX tickets (for an inflated price that was just short of $50) and arranged wifey Kim and my safe passage aboard the Academy.

This was to be, on paper, a different type of AC trip. The last time wifey Kim went alone was to see the debacle that was Dancing with the Stars LIVE! in February 2007. Otherwise, it’d be a guys’ trip or our annual Xmas in AC trip, where we’d be accompanied by our friends and family.

The ride to AC was mostly smooth, albeit after we had to change buses in Hoboken for some obscure reason. On both legs (NYC to Hoboken and Hoboken to AC) wifey Kim entered the bus when all the rows had at least one person in them, but a guy graciously offered to move (a different guy on each leg) to allow me to sit next to my wifey Kim. The rides otherwise were quick and we arrived in AC from the 10:30 am bus at about 1pm.

The Academy Bus cost $35/pp roundtrip, or $70 total. On weekends, the bus leaves every 30 mins or so, with the stops changing every bus. So, if you catch a certain bus, it may stop at Bally’s and Showboat. The next bus will probably stop somewhere else in AC, like Caesars and Resorts. I think I just named all Harrah’s properties, but I’m pretty sure it stops elsewhere too, including the Trop (although not at our desired times).

The first time I took the bus, I got a voucher for $20 on the $33 ticket. I don’t recall where we stopped, but the voucher did not require playthrough, so you could just cash it out for $20 immediately.

The last time we took the bus, it stopped at Bally’s, where we were given $20 vouchers (I think) that required playthrough. I grumbled at the prospect, especially since we arrived late at night and was staying elsewhere. This was a Very AC X-Mas, so my family were awaiting our arrival before X-Mas Eve dinner. We never ended up using the playthroughs and just ate the loss.

It must depend on the dropoff casino, because this time, wifey Kim and I got a $25 voucher that could be cashed in with a Trump One Card (their new promo card) without playthrough. It was the best deal yet. The tickets cost $35 each and with the $25 voucher, it was more like $10 each. And, once again, I checked the ACES express train from NYC to AC (funded by Borgata and Harrahs, I believe), only to see that the roundtrip cost for two people, even with the casino subsidization, was near $150 total. Plus, the timing was no good for us, and the rides were estimated to take 3 hours. That’s a lot longer than the $10 bus ride that drops you on the Boardwalk (as opposed to the train station).

At Trump Plaza, we jumped through some hoops to get our $25 (had to get players cards, and wait in line at ticket redemption). With cash in hand and two heavy backpacks, I loaded up the bags and headed with wifey Kim down the Boardwalk to the Trop. The weather was beautiful and we stopped just short of the Trop for a little snack, a slice of pizza for me and a hotdog for the wifey.

Finally at the hotel, we checked in and headed up to our room. It was already fairly late, probably around 3pm, and the movie was to start at 4:45. We headed down to the IMAX theatre and waited behind a very small line. A large sign stated, “ALL SHOWS SOLD OUT FOR TODAY”, but the six people ahead of us still thought they could beg their way in. “We already had to set up folding chairs, sir, and there is no more room.” Thank god I got my tickets in advance.

After they failed to obtain tickets, I simply walked up and gave my name, securing the tickets. The thought of scalping them came to mind, but there are better ways to make money in AC.

We then headed to one of our favorite restaurants in the Trop (or all of AC), Cuba Libre. We stumbled in there a couple of trips ago, and now its like our go-to for a nice but not pretentious meal. We asked for reservations, but they were booked solid, unless we wanted to eat 15 minutes into our movie. At that point, we decided to wing it.

Wifey Kim and I went upstairs and hung for a bit. The movie cashier said to arrive 1 hour early to ensure we got good seats. We waited until 45 minutes early and were probably 25th in line, which was good enough. We spent our time waiting by playing around on our respective phones.

The theatre itself is awesome. It’s pretty large, with stadium seating and a screen that actually dwarfs the room. It is so looming and when you look up, its practically the only thing you can see.

The movie was fantastic. Wifey Kim thought that the 3D was unnecessary, since it was not overly utilized, but for my money, I want 3D to be so natural that you don’t notice it in the context of the story. Yes, you want the 3D to be noticeable, but I don’t want 3D gimmicks to overshadow the story or action.

Tim Burton is a visionary, and if you like his vision, you will enjoy this movie. Some might disagree about how the script goes, but if you are willing to accept the world of Wonderland, then its a great movie. The special effects are great, the tone and mood of the movie completely envelopes the audience, the casting is spot on, and the new story fits surprisingly well with the Alice in Wonderland canon that preceded it. I suppose that is all that needs to be said on that subject.

The movie ended and wifey Kim and I walked around the upstairs section of Trop’s Havana Quarter, where the IMAX, restaurants and shopping is mostly located. We found some new places that Wifey Kim did not even know existed; me, on the other hand, knew the place inside out. We found the top floor of Cuba Libre and saw some empty tables. Reservations be damned! We headed downstairs and tried again.

“Table for two please?”

“Certainly, sir. We can seat you upstairs.”

On the walk, we saw that the bar section had empty tables, and being the informal people we are, we pulled an audible and grabbed a bar table. First come first serve!

For dinner, we shared two 1/2 pitchers of Sangria (we thought one would be enough, but we were wrong), ropa vieja (essentially short ribs in a stock with vegetables) and arroz con pollo, along with arepitas, little cakes of corn, cheese and other stuff fried up. Everything was delicious, including the Sangria, which had wifey Kim and I well loopy by the end of the meal.

We walked around for a bit more before heading back upstairs. Neither of us felt like gambling since we had a full day already. I hopped in the shower to remove the bus scum from me. Refreshed, I toweled off when wifey Kim offered, “You know, if I fall asleep, you can play poker.” I stared at her with a blank expression. “What?” she asked. “Well,” I offered, “I fully intended not to play poker this trip, but now that you mentioned it, I’ve got the fever. I still might not go play though.” (And if you know me, you have already called bullshit on that last line.)

Wifey Kim actually did fall asleep relatively early, and after waiting a reasonable amount of time until I heard the tell tale sound of deep sleep, I threw on some clothes and made for the poker room.

At this time of night, I was still fairly sloshed and tired from the long work week and our early start time for Saturday. I had considered donning my usual poker outfit, which for this trip included my red Flash t-shirt (a gift from wifey Kim), cargo pants, etc. I reconsidered, though, and switched back to my generic, solid maroon t-shirt and headed downstairs.

I had really thought about image. I was tired, so I did not expect to play many hands and I wanted to play more cautiously than usual, since I was not sure my wits were about me. My poker usual look is of a schlub; its comfortable and I want people to expect little of me. This time, I decided to play the Poker Grump way and be the quiet guy.

I arrived at the poker room and things were pretty hopping. I put myself on the 3-person list for 1/2 NL and on the 6-person interest list for 1/2 PLO8. I couldn’t believe that they’d even consider spreading the game. As it turned out, that game never started (or if it did, I wasn’t called for it).

After a 10 minute wait, I had my chips from the cashier and a table to play. I opted for $200 to start. I didn’t want the full buy-in ($300) because of how I was feeling, but I refuse to buy in for cheap ($100, for instance) unless I plan on experimenting. This was not an experimenting night, so $200 it was.

I took the four seat and liked what I saw. The 1s was a pretty cute chick. I’d say she was a solid 8 or 9, but when she eventually left the table she dropped to a 6.5. Nice face, but the body didn’t hold up.

Oh, and she played poker too, I think.

To her left and my right were two guys in their 20s. They were chatting with each other and the girl, giving away way too much info, while the chick remained pretty guarded. It was clear that the lethario in the 2s was trying way too hard, which in this case meant making inane conversation that mostly centered around his poker play and thought processes. He must’ve been losing, because he was going on about how unlucky he was at the table, pointing out a couple of lucksacks who were playing loose. From this dude alone, I got reads on several players, not that I would accept his reads without confirmation. When he lost a hand, he’d justify it to the girl as though she gave a shit, and then play the loser by stating, I can’t win.

What a pussy! If you really want to get a girl’s attention in this scenario, you have two options, neither of which are likely to work anyway. The first is that you act like money means nothing to you, ergo the chick will think you have money. For this sap, that’d be the best route. Why? Because the second route is to actually be a fucking human being and have a normal conversation with the girl. Picking up a chick at a poker game is like picking up a chick anywhere else. It was clear this guy had no game.

Now, I’m a married man, so I’m retired from such things, but playing the role of the quiet guy and enjoying the view, I noticed the chick looking at me a couple of times. I think everyone else around us were fawning over her, so my cold demeanor, like she was hardly there, seemed to catch her attention. We ended up chatting a bit when she asked me about my Buddha card cap, just another lesson for the turd on her left that they’ll come to you if you act like you don’t care. Now, she wasn’t blowing me under the table, but the point is that to get attention from a female when they are already getting attention thrown at them from everyone else, your best bet is to act disinterested.

The More You Know!

To my immediate left was an older guy who looked like strung out. He had long gray hair reaching to his chin and a touch beyond, on a skinny frame, wearing some type of track suit. He was sleeping a lot between hands and had his small stack arranged in $20 stacks of $5 chips.

To his left was an Asian guy in his 20s or 30s wearing a hoodie and sunglasses. He was probably my main competition in the game. Beyond him were a lot of fillers. There was one older Asian guy who was playing loose but rarely tangled with me and in the 10s there was a tall, thin white guy in a red tracksuit and dreadlocks. I’ve always said that if I were a black man, I’d wear dreadlocks, but for most white dudes, its just a joke. This dude was a joke.

Speaking of the dude with White Dreads, my first significant hand was a loss to Dready. I held KT and was in one of the blinds. Dready bet a few bucks preflop, maybe $6 or 7 and there were a few calls before it got to me, so I called as well.

The flop was King-high, giving me top pair, mediocre kicker. The flop checked around. On the turn, I checked and Dready bet out, but since he looked like a tool and seemingly acted like a tool, I didn’t give him much credit. He and I saw the river where I was tempted to make a bet, but instead check-called a small sum, losing to his KQ. It was a disappointing hand, but all I could think at the time was that I was glad I did not push the action. Overall, I only lost $20-30 on the hand.

A little while later, I decided to call in late position with K6s because there were a lot of limpers. The flop came down 863 with two clubs, fiving me a weak middle pair. It checked around to me and I checked as well. The Asian hotshot in glasses and a hoodie bet out $7 and there were a slew of weak calls, including me. The turn was another 8 and it checked to me again, but this time, I bet $20. I was fairly certain no one loved this board and I wanted to act like I hit the 8. I guess it worked well enough, because everyone folded and I was up a couple of bucks.

The last major hand was between me, Dready and the Hooded Asian. I held TT in MP. Dready was in EP and raised to $6. Before I could act, the pathetic dude who tried to chat up the chick raised to $20. With TT, I opted to call before I got too deep into the hand with lots of competition. The Hooded Asian called and we saw a flop, KT8 with two diamonds. I flopped middle set. Dready led out with a bet of $22 and when it got to me I raised to $80. Surprisingly, the Hooded Asian called and Dready did too. Both were hesitant. The pathetic kid had already folded. The turn was a Jack of spades, creating a spade flush draw and a straight if anyone had a Queen. I only had about $95 left in front of me, so when it checked to me, I took my time and pushed it all in. I wasn’t going to fold since these guys could easily be playing the flush draw. Hooded Asian called and Dready took his time before folding. The river was dealt, a 3 of spades, completely the backdoor spade flush. I tabled my set and the Hooded Asian mucked. He claims to have held the nut flush draw and a pair; Dready also claimed to be on a flush draw. Sweet! This hand helped me bring my profit to around $300 (profit only). I still had some time to play.

By the time it was almost midnight, I was down to $214, having leaked chips with AK, AQ and their ilk, all of which refused to hit a flop. I had my fun, though, so I packed up and left with my $214 profit. I had already picked midnight as my cutoff earlier in the evening, but it was a soft plan. I followed it, mostly because the chick was gone, the two guys on my right who were chatting too much were gone, and a couple of other soft spots had left the table. Wifey Kim was upstairs sleeping comfortably, so I was happy to join her.

I cashed out up my $214 after a little under 2 hours of play and made my way up to the room. On the way down the hallway, I heard the voice of two sorority-like girls yelling at each other in a room. “COME ON! YOU ARE TAKING SO LONG!” “WHAT! YOU NEVER TAKE THIS LONG! WE ARE ALWAYS WAITING FOR YOU!” I slowed my pace hoping to see the sloppy messes (as we so affectionately called such chicks in college), but that bitch really was taking a long time.

Wifey Kim barely moved when I opened the door and a flood of light entered our room. I got out of my poker clothes and in to bed.

The next morning, wifey Kim and I both awoke around 9am. We decided to move slowly, since we had nothing but time. Checkout was 11am, so we loaded up our bags and made our way to the breakfast buffet. Along with the two free rooms, every week, including weekends, through April 8, each room I booked came with a complimentary food comp of $40, which could only be used at Trop-owned eateries (i.e., Cuba Libre and a slew of other places were out). We hadn’t eaten at an AC buffet in probably 5 years, but we finally had an excuse. It was free ($40.55 before the comp, and under $40 with the comp because of no tax) and it was fast. Plus, with an omelette station, it was probably as good as any other Trop breakfast. In actuality, it was merely ok, but it was fast, and we got some mini-bananas to go for our ride back to NYC.

For dessert, we hit up the Wheel of Fortune slots where we sunk $100 down the drain. I usually don’t play slots, but with Kim, all bets are off (or on?) and besides, we had to play something ratable to let the Trop know that I was not just taking their room and squandering it.

Next we took a stroll in the unseasonably warm air, down the Boardwalk to Caesars. Once in Caesars, we made our way to the Concierge where we checked our bags, and then exited out the back of the building.

I’ve written here before about how AC needs to develop things other than gambling to attract a wider customer base. The outdoor outlet mall is a great example.

With the beautiful weather, wifey Kim and I were able to walk around without jackets, as we wandered from store to store picking up way more stuff than either of us intended. Several hundred dollars and heavy bags later, we had our fill, so we grabbed a quick bite at a Subway and headed back to Caesars, which incidentally is across the street from the center of the outdoor outlet area. It was also where Academy’s 1:30, 2:30 and 3:30 buses picked up NY passengers.

With tons of bags, we made our way to the bus depot in Caesars where we eventually got onto the bus and were able to obtain seats next to each other. Once again, the bus took a detour, this time because of massive traffic ahead, but even so, we were back at the Port Authority within 2 hours and 45 minutes. A short while later, we were home.

From this trip, I got to see AC from a non-gambler’s perspective, and I liked what I saw. There is a lot going on in AC, and you can choose to do it all or nothing and still have a great time. Sure, you won’t be rock climbing, or snorkeling, but you can get a tan during the right months and you can load up on cheap clothing year round. And there is always the movies.

And finally, an announcement. The Showboat has long been a favorite of mine because of the nice rooms, great tournaments for lower limit players, and location on the edge of the Boardwalk. But it is no longer the unofficial official AC Casino/Hotel of High On Poker. I have returned to the hotel of my childhood because of its generous room policies, variety of foods and entertainment venues, and always hopping poker room. Congratulations, Tropicana. You are the new unofficial official AC Casino/Hotel of High On Poker!

Until next time, make mine poker!

I am not sure if I mentioned it here yet, but for all of February, I played live poker…once. Just one session at Tuna Club over a 28 day period. What the hell?!

I suppose the major things keeping me away from live poker were my cold, which left me pretty tired after a long day of work, television, and the Summer Bankroll Challenge:  Southern Hemisphere Edition. I think I’m the only guy calling it the Southern Hemisphere Edition (which I think I stole from MHG), but I cannot just call it the SBC2, since it sure as hell ain’t summer around here.

The cold was a bitch, and I’m only now starting to feel better after a good 3+ weeks of alternating sniffles, stuffiness, and general malaise. I don’t believe in most medicines, but I found myself relying on crappy cold medicine for a good while, since I was in such bad shape, I could hardly work.

The television is both a boon and a damnation. With a lot of shows returning in late January through February, including particular favorites like Lost and (for shame) Heroes, many nights, I’d rather be sitting on the couch with wifey Kim rather than playing at the Tuna Club with my fellow degenerates. Time away from poker is a good thing, but it can be pretty messed up when your television schedule dominates poker play.

If there was any saving grace, it was the SBC:SHE. Even though it kept me away from live poker, it renewed my love for online poker. This can be seen two ways, since I was trying, at some point, to limit or quit online play. But after a very successful run, which really means treading water until I hit big for $1200+, I can appreciate online poker again.

I suppose the big turnoff was the feeling that I could not win consistently. Now, I suppose I see a bit more opportunity, as long as I pick my game selection well. At Stars, that means sticking to a lot of non-NLHE games and some NLHE tournaments with modified rules, such as 6-max or big antes. Really, those games are key if I want to play tournaments (and not SNGs) because most generic NLHE tournaments on Stars have way too many players for my taste.

After the SBC:SHE wrapped up, I took $1000 of my $1550 bankroll out of PokerStars via a mailed check. I still have concerns about Stars and Tilt once the UIGEA is lifted, so I do not want to keep too much money online. More importantly though, my online wins are not included in my Win/Loss ledger until the money is withdrawn (similar to how any online deposit is recorded as a loss). So, by withdrawing $1000, at least half of which will go to my live poker bankroll with the rest to wifey Kim and my savings, I can undo a lot of the ledger sheet losses from January, where I had a rough time at a couple of different venues.

This weekend, I may have some time to play poker. I took advantage of the “two free rooms every week on any day” offer I received from the Trop to book a room Saturday night for me and wifey Kim. Poker is up in the air, since we are ostensibly going to have some time alone together. I also pre-purchased tickets to IMAX 3D Alice in Wonderland, located write in the Trop. I purchased the tickets today for the 4pm show. The 7pm was already sold out several days in advance. Sheesh!

Most likely, when wifey Kim falls asleep, I’ll gnaw my arm off as it will likely be under her head, and then drag myself and my bloody stump of an arm to the poker room for a late night session. Man, am I classy!

If poker is not played, it’s because I will be back in AC March 18th weekend. I have already booked both nights and plan to hang with bro-in-law Marc and Roose while there. Marc wants to head back on Saturday, but Roose might be willing to stay two nights. Might my ass. He’ll be sure to want to stick around. Roose loves the pokah!

Jamie from Wall Street Poker will also be in town (and may take my room for Saturday if we skip town). Hopefully I can meet up with him as well.

So, where was this rambling post going? Yeah, I don’t know either. Let’s recap: No Feb poker because of TV, SBC, and VDs. 2 AC trips in March. All is well in the world.

Until next time, make mine poker!

On February 6, I posted about redeeming my building PokerStars frequent player points for one of the least likely items I expected to find, a basket of cookies. At the time, I chose to get the cookies mostly as a novelty. Why the hell would Poker Stars offer a gift basket of cookies to poker players? The connection makes little sense, other than the fact that we are generally sedentary fat asses (my rip bod not included); but even with that obscure connection, I still wondered why Stars would want to get involved with edibles. In other words, I had little expectation for cookies baked by a online poker site.

In a little under a week, the cookies arrived.

The cookies came in a wicket basket covered by two layers of cellophane. By the first evening, I opened the cellophane and surveyed the cookies. To my amazement, there were tons of different varieties, and I couldn’t identify most of them. There were a few that looked like classic chocolate chip cookies, but even those were weird. Most of them, on further inspection, actually contained nuts, but lord I couldn’t tell what type they were. All I know is that there were at least 3 types of cookies that appeared to be classic chocolate chips, but at least one was milk chocolate instead of the usual semi-sweet chocolate and the rest all had surprise nuts. Just plain odd. Here is a basket with at least 8 different types of cookies but no plain old choco chip. Nor was there a list or any other indications as to what type of cookies were in the basket.

All that said, the psuedo choco chip cookies were all great. Along wit the choco chip-alikes, there were peanut butter cookies, sugar cookies with white chocolate chips, a rocky-road chocolate cookie, a double chocolate cookie with nuts, oatmeal raisin cookies and a couple of other options. Understand these were at least 4 cookies of each type, so it was a cornucopia of cookies.

Amongst the many cookies I tried, all were fairly great, considering the source. The cookies were soft, but not too soft. I did not refrigerate the cookies, but rather kept them on the counter in tupperware. They stayed that semi-soft state for a good week before they started to harden, including a day and a half in which they were simply kept in the open air in the basket, once the cellophane was removed.

The cookies came with no nutritional info, which suits me fine since you can gain calories that you do not know about.* But if you are allergic to nuts, avoid this basket at all costs. Even if you can figure out which cookies contain nuts, all the cookies are co-mingled, so don’t complain to me if you eat a white choco chip sugar cookie without nuts and still die from the peanut dust from the nearby peanut butter cookies. In fact, if you die from anything, don’t call me. WHY WON’T YOU GHOSTS JUST LET ME SLEEP!

Hmm…does this post qualify for the No Poker Content warning? Hell, if you really cared about such things, you would’ve stop reading by now anyway.

Until next time, make mine poker!

* Other calories that do not count include free food and foods
eaten while on vacation. Have at it, fatties!

*** WARNING: MINIMAL POKER CONTENT ***

About 8 years ago, when I was still going to law school, I came to the realization that in the constant battle of my laziness vs. my impatience, my impatience always wins. I had to go across town every day to class, and my options were to either take a bus crosstown, take a convoluted series of subways, or walk across town. Walking was by far the quickest option. Most of the time, I could walk by the bus as it was stopped to pick us passengers or waiting in traffic. But walking also involved physical exercise, something that didn’t particularly excite me. Even so, walking was the way to go. No waiting for the bus or the subway. Once again, my impatience beat out my laziness.

But lord. LORD! I am so sick of waiting. When it comes to poker, I can’t stand showing up at a room only to find that the game is not going to start for another hour or more. Likewise, I find it terribly annoying to see a long wait list. Hell, even when it comes to home games, I’m often impatient. Nothing irks me more than showing up with 5 minutes to spare before the expected start time only to find out I am the first to arrive.

Its more than just poker though. The real issue that blows my freakin’ mind is the computerized messages at the end of voicemail prompts. It’s goes something like this:

PERSON YOU ARE TRYING TO CALL: Hi, you’ve reached [name]. I’m not available to take your call right now, but if you leave your name, phone number and a brief message, I will get back to you as soon as possible.

COMPUTER VOICE: The customer you are trying to call is unavailable. At the sound of the beep, please leave a message. Use your vocal cords to provide said message. After your message, please hang up or press 1 for more options. To leave a callback number, dial 5. To hear this message again, dial 9. To waste more time please dial 6.  For more idle stupid instructions press the pound key. Thank you for calling. Please enjoy these next 4 minutes of inane instructions before the beep.

First of all, who the hell needs to know that when you are done leaving your voicemail, you should hang up. What asshole sits on the phone after leaving his or her message wondering, “WHAT NOW!!??”

And who the hell wants to leave a callback number by pressing 5. Seriously? I think that’s the Sprint prompt that notifies you about pressing 5 for a callback number. But everyone has caller ID, and those who block their numbers on caller ID could just leave a message by voice. That’s what they are most likely going to do. Not to mention text messages. Its just nonsense.

Now, you are able to skip over some of these messages. For instance, if you are calling a Verizon number, just dial the star key. If you have Sprint, you have to dial 1. I have no idea what you have to do for AT&T.

But here is the problem with these shortcuts: each telephone provider has their own shortcuts and I can barely tell from the computerized voices which cell provider the person I am calling uses. At least a dozen times (if not 2 dozen) I have heard that robot voice and dialed the star key, expecting it to go directly to the beep, only to get a new prompt: “Please enter your pin code to access your voicemail system.” So, at least one of these other carriers uses the * key to remotely check voicemails; instead of getting to the beep, I end up somewhere else, and the only way to get out of this prompt to enter my pin code is to hang up and dial again…at which point, I wait another 5 minutes for the same inane prompts I was trying to avoid in the first place. Lesson to be learned: If you are unwilling to sit through the prompt once, you’ll usually have to listen to it twice.

Here’s another classic example of ridiculous telephone prompts. I just called a defendant’s insurance company to provide information they requested by letter.  Fortunately, or so I thought, the insurance adjuster included her 1-800 number and her extension in the letter. Should be easy, right?

First, the phone system required me to dial 1 to continue in English. Then, I had to dial another number if I wanted to contact someone using their extension number or name. Then the computerized answering system puts me on hold while it connects me to the extension prompt, which apparently is in Tibet based on the amount of time I’m waiting. At least while I wait, I get some more instructs, informing me that the call may be monitored. I can guarantee dollars to donuts (which nowadays is really just even money) that the first thing the adjuster will tell me is that the call may be monitored. Once I’m off of hold, the computerized voice asked me to dial 1 to enter an extension number and 2 to enter the name directory. Really? REALLY? Ok, fine, split hairs. After this layer, the phone sounds like it is ringing. Lord knows why? I guess hey have a whole other system just for dialing someone via their extension number. After four rings (I guess the computer was busy and had to rush to the phone last minute?), the new computer thingee picks up. It’s a male voice, totally different from the robot female voice from the dozen other prompts I already sat through. This ridiculous male voice then instructs me to enter the four-digit extension number, followed by the pound sign. Now, I understand using the pound sign when the amount of digits are in question, but if the prompt acknowledges that it is four digits, why doesn’t it automatically send me to my desired extension after four digits of dialing. Finally, the actual call goes through…only to end up going to voicemail. After what must be a 90 second message that includes today’s date, the adjuster’s hours, her favorite color and what she plans to do for lunch that day, as well as what to do if the matter is urgent (dial 0), I finally get to the end of this ridiculous series of prompts and can leave my quick message.

I swear, I’d rather walk to this woman’s office than sit through the 10 mins of computerized interaction again.

Until next time, dial 1. Then 8. Then 2. Then wait for the next computer to pick up. Then another one after pressing 6. Then finally give up. Oh, and make mine poker!

Around the blogosphere, several bloggers (too many to link) have reacted to an advertising offer sent by PokerStars. These bloggers, nearest I can tell, all have the same reaction. The offer is for a $22 SCOOP tournament entry in exchange for five or six links posted in separate posts. Generally, the blogosphere has determined that this is almost an insulting offer. I generally agree.

Websites often buy links because it will help them appear higher on search engines. So, if Poker Site A offers you $5 for a sidebar link to their site with the anchor text as Online Poker, then Poker Site A will get a bump in their site’s ranking in various search engines. This isn’t just a matter of doing work for Stars. It’s about Stars buying promotion on your website. The fact that the offer apparently required shilling beyond the simple link with additional money (up to a $109 ticket to SCOOP) for posts they like, merely incentivizes ass kissing. Finally, the fact that the offer only lays out the first of the 5 links is another indication that Stars may be taking everyone for a ride.

I’d like to start this next section by stating that we here at High on Poker believe that every individual blogger has the right to operate his or her blog as he or she chooses. This extends to advertising. I may not enjoy or read your blog anymore if every post is a shill post and there is no warning allowing me to skip it in Google Reader, but you have a right to do as you deem fit, since it is your blog.

All that said, you may or may not have noticed that I had taken issue with PokerStars advertising offers from the getgo. In fact, for the last three years at least, I have boycotted the PokerStars blogger tournament because the value of the tournament is not worth it to me. Even though there are some huge prizes, they are relatively few and the amount of time necessary to navigate the big fields make it an unattractive proposition for me. I believe this year, the times for the freerolls was also less than agreeable, not that I even got that far.

This was the first year, though, that I intended to skip the announcement of my boycott. I already made my points in the past, and I like the bloggers who work for or with PokerStars, so out of respect for them and given my previous rants, I kept quiet. Past tense, since this post brings it up, but only in an incidental way.

I have to agree wholeheartedly with the bloggers who think the new deal is a poor one. If its 5 posts for $22 SCOOP ticket, that’s barely over $4 per link. That’s pretty poor. Now, if you just started a blog or are only blogging for freebies or are broke and really want to play a SCOOP event, then maybe it makes slightly more sense. This is where I am all for individual decisions without judgment.  But for the people who agree that it is a poor deal, I wonder why they think the PokerStars Blogger Freerolls were any better. That, too, required a link that helps PokerStars build its page rank via your incoming link. Some websites are willing to pay good money for that link. For big sites, the amount they can receive is well over $100/month. For lesser sites, $50 or even $25 per month is doable if you get lucky (getting ads can be as much about luck as it is reputation of a site, particularly if you are not a site that is well known therough the poker community). Instead, PokerStars offered a freeroll with huge fields at bad times with few prizes that were not merely freerolls into other PokerStars tournaments, similar to the SCOOP offer.

In total, the prizes awarded in this year’s Blogger Freeroll was approximately $62,693, not including prizes for writing the best blog post, which technically is a separate offer that requires more Stars promotion. $62k sounds good. Over 2,000 players made it to the finals, which means as a conservative estimate, 4,000 people entered the tournaments and advertised for PokerStars. One of those preliminary events took over 6 hours (I don’t have info on all the events, so I’m using this as an example). The final took over 10 hours. That’s a lot of time commitment.

But let’s go back to that conservative estimate. If there are 4,000 people playing for a prize pool worth approximately $62,700 (technically, this too should be discounted, because all prizes were merely entries into other PokerStars tournaments, and therefore not worth actually $62,700 to either Stars or to the winners who may or may not make any real cash with their SCOOP entries). 4,000 people sharing $62,700 bucks works out to $15.68 per person. If there were 6,000 players in the Blogger Freerolls, it is reduced to $10.45. And your link is probably still in your blog, so Stars effectively paid $11 for permanent advertising on your blog.

Ultimately, Stars has been great for poker bloggers, specifically with the extra money they offered to the WPBT for the most recent live WPBT tournament in Vegas in December. Even the offers I just slammed are still a sign that they are considering bloggers. But in the end, the math does not make sense. I don’t want $11 and a 16 hour+ commitment to play a freeroll in exchange for advertising on my blog. And so, I don’t accept it.

For the record, here is a link to a December 2008 post that I wrote that said the same thing.

Until next time, make mine poker!

I’ll admit that aside from my utter domination in the Summer Bankroll Challenge – Southern Hemisphere Edition, this year has not been a particularly good one for poker. I am currently down just a little less than $1,000 even though I should be up several grand to meet my 2010 Goal. I’m not terribly concerned at this point, since there is a long road ahead of me, but the losses aren’t exactly pleasant to the eye.

Perhaps even worse, I have barely played any live poker in February, likely a side effect of some bad January results that turned me off of the game for a while, and the SBC-SHE, which has caused me to focus on my online play. My $1200 online win is also probably to blame, since it only encourages more online play.

All that said, I returned to the Tuna Club this weekend for the Sunday $160 tournament. I ended up busting in 10th or 11th after one rebuy. Overall, it was a fun game, but I did not see much in the way of cards early on, which led to my initial “shortstack”. Truth be told, I actually bounced back to the shortstack, but busted when I hit a straight flush draw. There were three players in the hand and I held 9Tc after calling a raise from Asian Mark. The flop was 7c8c8s, so any club gave me a flush (9 flush cards) and any Ten or Six gave me a straight. On the flop, Harris (the other player in the hand) checked and Asian Mark bet 775. I thought for a while and counted up my chips. I had around 4500 behind.

I didn’t want to call because if I missed on the next card, I was likely facing a large bet to see the river. Therefore, a raise was in order.

Thumbing through my stack, I tried to find a good price. I usually would raise 3x the initial bet (around 2400), but that would leave me with even less chips behind for the turn bet/call. I considered a min-raise, but that had the same problem as the call; I would surely get a call on the flop and would likely face a debilitating bet on the turn. So, I pushed all-in. Harris folded and Asian Mark called with JJ. My outs missed and I was busted.

I considered walking, since I hate re-registering late. Re-registering is like rebuying, but you have to repay the fee. As it turned out though, with blinds at 100/200 and around 4500 chips for re-registering, I decided to stay put.

After a while, the blinds went up, as did antes. Once the re-register period was over, the extra stacks were removed from the table and we were down to two tables of 6. This caused me to go through more blinds, and eventually I found myself short again, a little over 10x the BB. I started the push-or-fold routine.

I finally got a decent hand in AQo. I pushed and got folds. On the next hand, I got AQd. I pushed and picked up the blinds. A couple of hands later, I got AK. I pushed and got all folds.

Right around this time, Rafael, who was sitting to my left, pointed out that I had gone all-in a bunch of times and won. Maybe it was a tad later, since I think I had gone all-in 4 times already without anyone looking me up. “You should go for 10.” Realistically, this is a silly suggestion, but I decided to ham it up. The next three times when I pushed, I joked to the table that I was just playing for the 10 all-in wins. Some of the more serious players even cracked a smile, since the goal was so absurd.

I had completed 7 out of 10 of my all-ins when I was in the SB with AJh. The action folded to the terrorist looking dude on my left. The guy was actually pretty friendly and we had chatted lightly during the game. I had noticed he made some aggressive plays with less-than-stellar cards when he saw an opportunity. In one example, he pushed all-in over a late position raiser who he felt was weak. The LP raiser called and showed a very weak AT…but Yusaf Poker had AT too. The other guy almost hit his flush, but Yusaf got lucky.

With all this in mind and a history of pushing from the button in unraised pots, I decided to call when Yusaf pushed. Of course, first I verified with Rafael that calling an all-in and winning would count for my 10 all-in wins. He agreed. This probably wasn’t a real factor in my decision, but I had to keep the goof going.

Sure enough, we actually had some spectators by now, and they along with the rest of the table were commending my call when Yusaf showed 23o against my AJh. Door card: 3. Nothing else was relevant, and I busted. LEMON!

Before this hand, a chick was watching the game from behind me after she had busted from the other table. I had overheard her talking about how she messed up to get herself knocked out. She had concluded that she should just stop playing poker because she was so bad at it.

When I busted, she told me, “I busted with AJ earlier. So did ____ (some name I don’t remember).” I replied, “Why didn’t you say something 2 minutes ago before I called!” and then laughed to show I was joking. On that same note, when I lost against 23o, I stood up and said that it was bullshit and the game was rigged. Then I looked around the table and saw some of the onlookers with a concerned look on their faces. I mouthed to them and tilted my head to indicate that I was just joking. By then, my tablemates knew to expect some tomfoolery.

Being the nice guy I am (and always one for encouraging bad players), I chatted briefly with the girl. “What happened with your hand? I heard you were pretty down on yourself.” “I was tired of being pushed around by [name withheld] so I decided to call his all-in with AJ. He had AK and I was out.”

“That call isn’t terrible. Hell, I just called an all-in with AJ. Plus [name withheld] is more than capable of pushing with crap cards. Just because he turned out to have you beat, it doesn’t make it a bad call necessarily.”

I may as well have been talking to myself, because stating those words was somewhat soothing. In my case, I did everything right in the last hand, the guy had crap cards, as I expected, and I still lost. As many people have said before, in Poker, you can do everything right and still lose. Truer words have not been spoken.

Once done, I eventually made my way home. On the way, I realized that if I really want to be the poker player I envision in my head, there are no two ways about it: I have to play more.

Until next time, make mine poker!

From Daniel Negreanu’s blog:

“I’m trying my best, and I know how poker works, when I do that… results come. I’m not one to dwell on bad luck at all, it happens to all of us who play this crazy game!”

Until next time, make mine poker!

Boyo! I am fighting a rant. Fighting hard, homies. Ah fudge it. Here we go.

I have been on the shit end of bad beats before. In fact, for a long period of time, I felt like the poker gods were against me. I don’t even want to go back and look at those posts, because fortunately, that ugly spell is behind me. But, well, that’s not really what this post is about. This post is about the special little snowflakes out there who think that they are super-duper special. You know who I mean. The wannabe Sigmas Six. What’s a Sigma Six? I’m glad you asked.

I’m no mathemagician, but from my understanding, Six Sigma is a math and/or statistic term for super outliers. Since we are talking about bad beats, let’s apply the idea of Six Sigma to luck. Basically, if you charted out all the people in the world, you would find that some have perfectly even luck and others have more bad or good luck. A very select few, however, will have a lot more good or bad luck. Those outliers, as rare as they are, are those tools who never lose or never win in poker. They literally have the best or worst luck around.

Now, whether or not luck really works that way is another story. But the point is, there are way too many people out there who think that they suffer the worst bad beats or have the worst string of cards or the worst luck. Lord knows some of them write about poker on these very Intertubes. I can think of a couple offhand that at various times were so focused on their losing hands that they proclaimed voraciously that they had the worst luck ever. Hell, I may’ve made such a proclamation in the past. It was the distant past, if ever, but it could’ve happened. I have not always been this pokering machine you see before you (via text) today.

So, here the rant really begins:

You are not so special. You are not a precious little bad luck snowflake. You are not cursed. You are not a Sigma Six.

You simply are suffering some bad luck.

Here’s the thing. If you have been playing poker for any significant length of time or at any significant stakes, you should have learned by now that bad beats and bad luck happens. And it even happens in stretches, where for a while, nothing can go right. But you are not special. You aren’t. I know you want to be. Or at least you want to hold it up to the world and say, Look at me! I’m suffering bad luck! The WORST luck ever. I don’t suck! I DON’T! You might not suck at poker; I don’t know. But you do suck at life.

Complaining about bad luck in poker is the equivalent of saying that the clouds must hate you because it has been rainy all week. No, dude. It is going to rain. So, if it rains on your parade, that may suck, but it isn’t because you are cursed or special or a Sigma Six. It’s because your parade is outside and sometimes it rains.

So, here is what I ask of you:

Stop bitching about having the worst luck ever or stop playing poker.

Unless, of course, you are bitching about it while playing against me. In that case, bitch away. You are only hurting yourself and I could use the entertainment.

Until next time, make mine poker!

*** WARNING: NO POKER CONTENT ***

Several weeks ago, I mentioned in a post that I was experimenting with grilled chicken. I am a novice chef, at best, but I love cooking, and so I set about with a goal to make a grilled chicken cutlet that matched as close as possible the grilled chicken available at most any diner or deli in the New York City area.

I had experimented with different marinades and cooking styles, but last night, after a long day that included furniture shopping and some woodwork in my apartment as I tried to fix a completely different piece of furniture, I decided to give it another go. Of course, the defrosted chicken cutlets had a say in the matter; they had to be cooked yesterday or thrown out.

When I was done, I had successfully created the closest match to simple grilled chicken. Here is my recipe:

1. Brine. I have never brined anything before in my life, so this was completely new to me. I filled a Ziploc bag with 1 quart of cold water, added salt and sugar and then shook it around until the ingredients were dissolved. Once dissolved,  I added the 1 lb. of chicken cutlets. I then let the bag sit in the fridge  for a good hour while I baked some japaleno cornbread for wifey Kim’s Tex-Mex potluck tonight at one of her girlfriend’s places. For the specific ratio of water, salt and sugar, check out this nifty Brining Guide.

2. Butterfly. Once the chickens were brined, I took out each breast and butterflied them, cutting from the center into the meatiest part of the breast until I could open it up like a book. I then butterflied the other half of each breast when necessary.

3. Pound. This one I stole from my days working at the butcher shop. New York deli’s often have these relatively flat pieces of grilled chicken. No doubt, it is because the chicken cooks faster and can probably serve more people in its flattened form. Me? I am just paranoid about cooking things through. I knew that if I pounded the chicken thin, I could avoid this problem. Plus, I wanted to replicate NYC deli grilled chicken as close as possible.

I laid out a long sheet of wax paper and prepared a couple of other similarly-sized sheets. I then laid out my chicken on the paper, covered it with the additional sheet and took to the chicken with my mallet. The result? Flattened, thin chicken.

On a related note (and maybe as 3a), let the chicken sit out for a bit. You want it to be room temperature so that it cooks through easily.

4. Grease and Pre-Heat. I still need to work on my method of cooking, but I’ve found one with the best results, thus far. I have a large griddle that can be placed over two burners on my stove top. I flipped it to the grill side and preheated it. The preheating is key if you want those fine grill marks that do more for appearance than any other step. I then lightly patted down the grill with olive oil (not extra-virgin). Next time, I am going to try vegetable oil or some other oil, which I will explain momentarily.

5. Season. I suppose you can go with all sorts of seasoning, but to keep it easy, I used a mix of dried Italian seasonings that came in a grinder. I also applied a decent amount of salt and pepper. I applied all of these to one side of the chicken, then placed the chicken on the grill with the seasoned side down, and then seasoned the exposed side before flipping.

6. Cook by Sight. Once I allowed the grill-top to heat up and applied a light layer of olive oil, I spread out my flattened chicken breasts. I had 4, but could only fit 3 onto the grill-top at one time. Once placed, I basically cooked by sight, allowing a decent amount of time to pass before I made the first check. After all, to get the sweet grill marks, you need a decent amount of uninterrupted contact. I’m no food-scientist, but I also think waiting a bit helps prevent sticking. Once I’m pleased with the browning on one side, I flip and wait for it to appear cooked through. Since the chicken is pounded thin, it doesn’t take long, and there is little chance that the outside will be cooked but the inside raw.

7. Rest. Not just you. The chicken too. I never really appreciated the point of letting food like steaks rest until I got knee deep in the Food Network. Whatever the case, allowing the chicken to rest will prevent it from oozing all of its delicious juices once you finally cut into your meal.

I learned a couple of lessons from this routine. I thought the meat was too salty, so next time, I may cut down on the amount of salt in the brine or the amount of salt I used to season the meat. After the first round of chicken (3 out of 4 pieces), the grill-top started to smoke because the olive oil was burning, so I had to switch to a grill-pan for round 2. Next time, hopefully another oil will prevent premature boiling so I can cook even more at once.

Hopefully, this recipe for how to simply grill chicken will work for you. If anyone has any other tips or ideas, feel free to share. I love cooking!

Until next time, make mine poker!

Since we at High on Poker’s Central Office discovered that Bethlehem, PA will be overtaking Atlantic City, NJ as the nearest legal poker to New York City, we asked fellow blogger and Bethlehem-native Queens Up to provide a brief guide to Bethlehem. Happy Travels!

The History of Bethlehem

Bethlehem, AKA The Christmas City,  was founded by the Lehigh River by a group of Moravians in 1741. In the past it gained notoriety as a stopping place for George Washington and his troops on the way to Valley Forge during the Revolutionary War. More importantly, the area began to bloom when Bethlehem Steel was founded in 1857, which peaked as the 2nd largest steel producer behind US Steel out of Pittsburgh. During WW2, Bethlehem Steel had in their employ over 30,000 workers. The last smelting took place in 1995, and the company ceased to exist in 2003. You would be hard pressed to find a local who doesn’t have some kind of connection to the plant, personally my father worked there as a teenager, and my uncle worked there until it closed.

The casino came about as a result of an original idea started in 1997-98 by Mayor Cunningham to turn the island that Bethlehem Steel’s buildings were located on into an attraction. The south side of Bethlehem where the major office buildings were located and Lehigh University sits became run-down; the project was supposed to revitalize the area.

The original idea called for an ice skating rink, and 20+ movie screen Cineplex, artistic building, and a Bethlehem Steel historical museum. The opening date was set for mid-1999 but due to a failure to come to agreement with the city council and prospective builders, most of the idea was scrapped at the time. The only idea that did come to fruition during this time was the artistic building known as “The Banana Factory”.

In the mid-2000’s the idea was pushed again, this time with the idea that Sands would build a casino and hotel on the old BS site, and other attractions would be added. Currently the hotel is not finished, as a result of some work stoppage as Sands struggled with funding during the recession. The casino is currently scheduled to open along with the ice skating rink in Nov of 2010.

Attractions and Events

Ever since I was little the Bethlehem Tourism Bureau has sought to market Bethlehem as a vacation spot. They saw this as feasible since Philadelphia is a 45 minute drive down the turnpike (I-476) and New York City is a 90 minute drive down I-78. The first (and still biggest) thing they did was start a music festival called Musikfest.

Musikfest was started in August 1984 as a primarily German music festival. It started out having just a few platzes (places) where various music could be heard. Since 1984, it has grown into the one of the largest mostly free outdoor music festivals in the country, boasting a yearly attendance rate of over 1 million unique visitors during the span of the 10 day festival, and draws not only current big name artists, but runs the gamut of music from all across the globe. And the global theme doesn’t just stop with the music but also includes the food. Where else can you get Crocodile on a Stick or an Ostrich Burger to go with your funnel cake? Musikfest is held every August and is capped off by a fireworks display to close the festival.

Other events that occur throughout the year include the Celtic Classic, Christkindlemarkt and First Nicht. The Celtic Classic features Celtic games, beer, dancing competitions, and bagpipes! Christkindlemarkt spans 4 weekends starting at the end of November and features samples of various foods and crafts from vendors from across the local region and the country. First Nicht is held every December 30 to December 31 and features music, food, and drink in the downtown historical area that culminates in a huge fireworks display at midnight of the new year.

While you are visiting Bethlehem, you will want to stop by Main Street which is located in the historical section. On both sides of the streets you will find niche shops with various wares. The big attraction is The Moravian Bookshop which is the oldest continuously operated book store in the United States. For a good place to eat, try Brew Works which has good American cuisine and various homemade brews. Brew Works also has a downstairs bar where you can get my personal favorite, the $16/bottle Beelzebub.

Notable Persons and Businesses

-Jonathon Frakes attended Liberty High School (my alma mater) and was a Trumpeter in the Grenadier Band.
-Chuck Bednarik, the famous Eagle and last true Ironman in the NFL, played for the Liberty Hurricane Football Team.
-Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson played football for Freedom High School (Liberty’s main rival).
-Daniel Dae Kim (Jin on Lost) was born in Easton and attended Freedom High School.
-Daniel Roebuck (Dr. Arzt on Lost) is a graduate of Bethlehem Catholic High School.
- Just Born Inc, the maker of famous candies such as Peeps and Mike N Ikes, was founded and resides on Stefko Blvd in Bethlehem.